Image for Andrew Choi's testimony on miscarriage

Watch: Andrew Choi’s testimony

Andrew Choi was excited when his wife first got pregnant but his joy soon turned to grief and pain as they experienced a miscarriage. By seeking God through prayer and confession, he received God’s warm comfort through the Holy Spirit and promise of another child. Praise God! Watch his testimony.

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Video transcript

If I had to give an example of how myself, and also my wife, we walked with the Holy Spirit, it would be our journey to parenthood.

My name is Andrew. I’m 31 years old, and I live in Asia with my wife, Hillary and I’m Korean American.

I grew up in a Christian family and so that meant that every Sunday, I would go to church, go to youth group, I would volunteer and I would do everything that I was supposed to do as a Christian. But my walk with God was not entirely genuine. It was not intimate.

It’s what I guess you would call lukewarm. And that was because what I was seeking after was acceptance from the world.

About five years ago, I moved from the US back home to Asia. And that was when I slowly began a process of seeking God again, and seeking spiritual renewal.

What I really wanted was a closer relationship with God. I would hear of others around me, Christian brothers and sisters, saying things like, “Holy Spirit led me to this,” “God said this,” and I hadn’t experienced that.

About three years ago, with the encouragement from my wife, I gathered with a group of brothers and sisters to pray and to seek God again. And that meant confessing all the ways that I sought after myself and the world and not God.

Throughout my life, I lived with a lot of rules and standards for myself.

What I would say to myself were things like, “I have to be successful and work hard. I have to please my parents. I have to be a good moral person. I have to be liked by other people. I have to be a good husband and not fail my wife.” I relied completely on myself and my own will and my own hard work to achieve that.

And when I repented of all of these rules that I set for myself and not seeking God, God reminded me of the parable of the prodigal son in Luke chapter 15.

In this parable, there is a father and a son. And the son runs away from the father and lives a life that is not pleasing to the father. And eventually the son, this prodigal son, decides to come back to his father. And you’d think that in a normal circumstance, that the father wouldn’t welcome him.

But in fact, in this parable, the father runs out to greet the son and to kiss him and to hug him and welcome him back and throw this big banquet for him.

And God was reminding me that even though I identified myself with this prodigal son; that He welcomes me back, that He loves me and that He loves me unconditionally. And so that was a time of healing for me.

And I also prayed to God to ask Him what He thought of me and He gave me the word “gift” and the word “wonderful.” And that was just the character of God, that He gives you these encouraging and loving words and welcomes you back.

Now I have confidence that if I go to God earnestly, that He will speak and that He would lead me and I do have to walk in humility.

I know that it will not always be the way I want to hear it or when I want to hear it, but is very comforting to know that the Creator of the world is on your side and walking with you.

Early last year, we found out that my wife was pregnant, and of course, we were ecstatic and overjoyed to be parents. But over the next couple of weeks, we found out that the baby was not doing well and my wife eventually miscarried. And even though it was an early pregnancy, we believe that life is a gift from God.

And so, we were devastated losing this child and as a husband, when you see your wife suffer and you can’t really do much, it’s extremely painful.

We were just crying out to God and praying and seeking answers. And God spoke to us that He had a purpose for this child that we lost. And God also whispered to us the name of this baby.

God surrounded us with a group of brothers and sisters who cried with us, who prayed over us, and blessed us. And so, this gave us a lot of healing and peace.

Last year, I was praying for our family and our future, and around July, God gave me an image of two sisters.

And then in September, God gave me, the word, “August”. And so, I thought maybe this might mean that, we might have a baby in August. And then in October, God reminded me of Psalm 127. Psalm 127 says children are a heritage from the Lord and He says that children are a blessing from God.

God had given us these promises and you know, frankly, I had sort of pushed it aside and months went by without much thought. And in December of last year, on our wedding anniversary, we found out that my wife was pregnant. A few weeks later, we went to go see a doctor and our doctor told us that our baby will be born in August.

And then a few weeks later, we saw the doctor again and we were told that this baby will be a girl.

This was God’s promise to us that it was going to be a girl that was going to be born in August. And so, we were so overjoyed because this was a truly a gift from God that He had told us about before.

Right now, we feel that we are in a season of blessings and what gives us comfort is that whether we’re at the peak or in the valley that God is constant.

God says in Psalm 23, even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil because You are with me. And right now, we have no ability to predict the future and there’s a lot going on.

But despite the uncertain external circumstances, we have a lot of hope because God is with us and Holy Spirit is walking with us and through that, we can find peace and comfort and healing and blessings on this earth and forward.

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