Jesus reconciles student with his Heavenly Father
H struggled with random lustful thoughts since he was little until he repented of idol worship. He also felt uplifted emotionally after he learnt to repent of his inner vows and judgments, forgiving those who had sinned against him. H now feels closer to his Heavenly Father. Praise God!
I was raised in a traditional Asian family where our family religions surrounded Taoism and Buddhism.
Unsurprisingly, I followed my family to practice Taoism and Buddhism. I gave offerings to false gods, I bowed before them in the temple, and I did grave sweeping. This opens a door to the enemy into our body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, to attack us. There were occasions when I am not able to feel the words in sermons or wisdom from the Bible.
The spirit of lust has been with me since a very young age. There are often lustful thoughts and scenes in my mind for unknown reasons. I had been struggling to get rid of them and the related practice.
Romans 1:23-24 (NLT) And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles. So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies.
Throughout my renewal prayer, the Holy Spirit led me to sense that it was the spirits behind the false idols that inserted such thoughts into my mind. My prayer counsellors and I thereby prayed to cut soul ties with these spirits and to rededicate myself to the Heavenly Father. In a short time, I sensed the difference.
Those lustful thoughts reduced significantly and I can put my mind into other things which are much worthier to focus on.
During my childhood, I was raised in an “Asian” way – I have to obey my family, especially my father. I have to listen to all his thoughts and I will be rejected whenever I say no. I will be scolded and punished if I do anything “wrong.” My father was harsh to me, and there were uncountable dysfunctions and conflicts in my family and my parents’ marriage.
Fast forward to when I was 18, we found out that my dad had a mistress. Since then, my family has been in a constant state of chaos and conflict. Everyone in the family has become emotionally stressed. There is a lot of brokenness.
In college, I found I was not welcomed by my peers, especially in the sports field.
Therefore, because of all these experiences, I made a lot of inner vows. I thought that I am the only person I can seek help from.
“I have to protect myself, I cannot be like my parents, I cannot let people see my true self, I have to be tough, I have to be wise, I have to be objective…” All these vows were made to rely on myself to survive in this world.
During the Love the Lord course, I finally realised that these created walls between our Heavenly Father and me. With these vows, I tend to turn to myself, rather than to God, for whatsoever matter.
Moreover, it has a lot of side effects. With each vow, I became judgmental towards my parents and others. I relied on my own power to discern what’s right or wrong, and I am less able to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit.
After renewal prayer, I feel empowered to be more active in going to God and listening to His voice. I feel like I am truly a son of God and I can go to Him whenever I need Him— I am no longer alone.
I feel so connected with our Father God after breaking down all these vows and idol worshipping.
Also, because I have judged people, I have never forgiven them. I have been holding grudges for anything they have done, no matter big or small. These emotions had been trapped in my heart for such a long time that I feel weary and grumpy. I never knew the right way to release these emotions because of my inner vow that, “I have to take care of my own feelings.”
During the prayer, I lifted up all the judgments and confessed all the unforgiveness to our Heavenly Father. It was surprising that I felt a sense of relief. It was a miraculous emotional uplift. And it was more surprising that I do not have to cry to release my emotions. Long before the renewal prayer, I told myself that “I need to cry”.
God obviously told me here that things do not work in my way, but in His way.
Through the counsellors, I received a vision. My family, albeit problematic at the present time, is being placed in a garden. My sisters, my mother and I are the blossoming plants, growing beautifully, but Satan is attempting to destroy us with anything he can use. God wants to include me in His plan of salvation. He is helping me to grow in His name and thereby protect this garden and get rid of Satan.
Hearing these words, I felt encouraged and privileged that God is making a great plan for my family and I am employed in His plan to complete His glorious work. Ever since then, I started praying every day, faithfully, without a doubt, believing that God will do His perfect work and that my family will be led to do the right thing under His plan.
The future is bright, and I am so ready to work in His name, no matter if I have to go through ups and downs. In the month after the renewal prayer, there are so many challenges and temptations, but I know God is here as always. There is nothing to fear and nothing to blame – it’s all in God’s control and plan.
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