Jesus heals consultant’s hidden wounds
K was growing in his faith but confessed to being emotionless. Here is his testimony of how God gently revealed the wounds that choked his emotions and healed his heart as he confessed his pain. Praise God!
God emptied me completely before I could be filled with His love and grace.
I was born in Hong Kong to a family of five, with two older siblings. Both my parents believe in Buddha but they sent me to a Catholic kindergarten and elementary school. I remember I had to memorise prayers every morning when I was young.
When I was 11, my parents divorced and I moved with my older sister to Los Angeles to join my older brother. My brother is 14 years my senior and my sister is nine years older. They became my guardians.
Even though I flew back to Hong Kong to see my parents almost every summer, I didn’t experience earthly fatherly love and did not know what love is. I was so far away from parents since young.
I became very independent and moved out when I was 22.
In college, I came to know about God through a Christian spiritual leader who explained the four spiritual laws to me and brought me to his Korean church. I was unable to connect fully while the pastor was preaching in Korean but I could sense the love among the Christians.
This was the first time I felt there is love and fellowship in this world despite the language barrier.
After a couple of months, I decided to join an English-speaking church near my university. This was where I experienced true fellowship and learned the foundations of the Bible.
After I graduated in 2002, I moved back to Hong Kong to spend time with my parents. In those two years in HK, life was partying and working. I was just a Sunday Christian. I later decided to pursue my master’s degree in LA and moved back. After finishing my masters, I was hired to work in an environmental consulting firm.
In 2008, I met someone and we quickly fall in love. I brought her to accept Christ as her Saviour and we got baptised together. In 2009, we married and bought a house together.
In 2010, I found out that my wife was in an affair just one year into our marriage.
I couldn’t imagine that someone whom you wanted to spend the rest of your life with would betray you. I confronted her with evidence about the affair, but she would not be honest with me about the truth. From that point on, I knew that our marriage was based on material possessions and not on love.
Our only way to resolve the situation was to file for divorce. I can tell you that going through a divorce alone without much family support was the most stressful thing in my life. Working irregular shift schedules and dealing with a divorce lawyer at the same time was extremely upsetting. My life became upside down dealing with a broken heart.
Filing the divorce papers in 2011 was the darkest time in my life. I couldn’t call myself a Christian. I was very ANGRY at God. “Why would You let this happen, God?”
Instead of praying for my healing, I turned away from God.
As a consultant, I often travelled to different places for work. Since the company covered all my expenses, I lived freely. I had relationships with non-Christians, I used alcohol to numb myself to sleep. I would rent out different sports cars every week using my company expenses.
I could ask for all the superficial material things that I wanted in life to satisfy my flesh but deep down inside, my heart was hollow and empty.
Relationships that only focused on physical needs and appearance could not fully satisfy my soul.
I quickly realized that I was at a dead end and I needed to surrender to God.
When the divorce papers were finalised, my ex-wife demanded to have the house. I told her, “TAKE IT! A house is only a treasure on earth.” By the power of God, I also told her I would forgive her even though she saw the purpose of our marriage as only status and money. But if someone led me to talk about my ex-wife, strong emotions would still stir up inside me. But I would suppress them and not let those negative emotions affect me.
A verse to share: Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
It is amazing how God allowed me to lose my relationship with my ex-wife, my home, and my job to teach me to get closer to Him.
God stripped me down completely as I lost everything. I knew the only way to repent is to fully empty everything out and fully commit myself to Him. God continued to stretch His open arms to me. I knew God never left me behind, but my heart was ashamed because I had walked away from Him once.
A verse to share: Acts 3:19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord
I started to dedicate myself back to church where I also joined a fellowship group to reconnect with fellow brothers and sisters-in-Christ. Through their prayers, my heart and mind slowly healed. I began getting closer and closer to God. In recent years, I met my girlfriend at church. She has been very encouraging with regards to my Christian walk. Now I serve as a facilitator for a men’s class in church on Sundays.
A verse to Share: Jeremiah 17:14 Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
I know God has always been beside me and He placed specific people to guide me through my life.
A spiritual mentor from church heard about my story and encouraged me to confess any blocks in my heart through a renewal prayer. We identified that I was still broken and numb in my heart from my past wounds. With the help of my prayer counsellors during renewal prayer, I was able to identify what those wounds were; a lack of parental love while I was living away in the U.S, suppression of feelings, dealing with problems alone, and the pain from my divorce.
I was guided to search for and address every wound, and confess them honestly from my heart without fear or shame. That day, I lifted my wounds up to God for healing. The Holy Spirit was like a doctor patiently treating every wound on a patient. I could feel His light and experienced God’s love as the warmest feeling got injected into my heart.
After the renewal prayer, my emotions became more sensitive. God softened my heart and gave me back my emotional feelings.
God also spoke through the prayer session that I would be serving Him through prophesising from the Bible.
It was amazing that God has revealed this spiritual gift to me through my renewal prayer. Now I have found my purpose in life according to His plan. It is to share my testimony to change lives for God as a facilitator at the men’s class in church.
A verse to share: Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
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