Jesus heals and guides IT executive

J had suffered setbacks in his life. When he accepted Jesus as His Saviour, J continued to hold bitterness in his heart. As he humbled himself to go to God to confess his disappointments and grievances, the Holy Spirit freed him from many unhappy memories and showed him a new way. Praise God!

I completed a one-year-long course called Love The Lord. Before the course, there was no hope in my heart.

I worked a 10am to 7pm job and life for me was just like the living dead, I was like a zombie. What discouraged me the most was that I did not see a future for myself. Because I don’t have a college degree or any particular skill set, the chance of promotion or moving up at work is almost zero. 

This is not optimal for my future, as I am no longer young. The available paths for me are very limited. But God always takes care of my very real needs. 

For example, in the last 10 years, I joined a men’s Bible study group and studied the New Testament to the Old Testament. I got to understand God’s attributes and character, how He leads, heals, and resurrects the dead and how His love enters our hearts directly. 

During the time I spent studying of the Bible, I got to understand more about God and the importance of faith and how it relates to me. 

That understanding changed me from a self-centred person to a person who seeks God’s lead on everything, which I believe has saved me from unnecessary pain. At the same time, it became easier for me to develop patience and endurance in the adversities of life. 

Later, my relationship with God was reconciled after my first renewal prayer.

My old self lived under the stress and oppression of society’s values and expectations that were placed on me. I was very unhappy, to the point that I couldn’t focus on my work. Due to my low self-esteem and low self-confidence, I often complained that my job had no future. I had absolutely no idea what the purpose of my work was. I spent every moment living in a state of worry.

My background made me feel self-abased and inferior. 

I always thought I must become what our society valued and taught us as important, e.g. receive a good college education, choose a good major that can lead to a good career, and save time in looking for a job or worrying about life by obtaining such things. Then one can feel superior and privileged, and not be negatively compared with one’s peers.

My beliefs proved that my heart was influenced by the world’s values, society’s preferences, and other people’s opinions. That led me to see those worldly things as very valuable. 

I ignored the unique qualities that God has given me. 

In pursuing the world instead of God, I would not accept godly advice that my brothers-in-Christ would give me sometimes.

As time went by, I did not even know that I had left God and lost the means to forgive others. I often perceived other people’s words, opinions, and even the way they looked at me as belittling. 

That often kept me in a state of hatred, and that hate became a vicious cycle. My confidence hit rock bottom. 

I did not have anyone to talk to and anywhere to go to talk about it. What’s worse is that I didn’t pray to God regularly.

The turning point came when I began to have health problems. I lost my mood completely and feared that my health problem would impact my daily life. But thankfully, Jesus never left me. He sent a brother-in-Christ to care for me and gave me guidance and counsel. Another brother-in-Christ also suggested that the three of us start a Bible study group, starting with the Book of John.

From then on, I learned more about the deeds of the Lord Jesus, His attitude towards people, and His love for people. Jesus taught and led his disciples to preach the Gospel of the Kingdom of Heaven to others, to heal the sick, to resurrect the dead, and to perform many miracles. The Bible brought me peace and hope.

During my second renewal prayer, Jesus led me back to when I was little, to a time when I was facing injustice. 

I was wrongly accused of destroying a ping pong ball from a gym class at school and was not trusted when I protested, while one classmate was very unkind to me. These two things made me very angry and upset, and this eventually led me to have a meltdown in the classroom.

During the renewal prayer, the Holy Spirit guided me back to the situation at that time. I first forgave that classmate and teacher, and I also forgave myself. After the prayer, I received a new vision. In the vision, I saw the whole classroom was restored to a joyous atmosphere. More importantly, the Lord Jesus actively participated in this healing process. 

This has enabled me to regain my trust in relationships and become a believer who pleases the Lord.

God helped me understand myself and showed me that gaining another person’s approval is not important. The important thing is to stick by and listen to God’s will, which is the primary goal of life. The two renewal prayers made me more aware of the direction and the pursuit God has given me in life. He removed the idols in my heart and gave me peace from Jesus Christ.

Also, He showed me that I need to learn to forgive others as the Lord has forgiven me. For example, I must learn from Jesus to forgive those who have spoken against me or treated me unfairly and unjustly, and the relatives who hurt my family, such as the uncle who got us into a financial crisis. I have to forgive my dad because I believed he didn’t fulfil his responsibilities as a father. 

After the forgiveness prayer, my relationship with my family changed. 

My relationship with my dad has improved a lot. We greet each other a lot more. Also, my relationship with my peers has also improved. All the changes came about because I am no longer very self-centred. I have learned to consider others’ feelings, which has improved all my relationships.

Lastly, I learnt to resist Satan and his accusations. I also repented of all the false idols I had worshiped and temples I had visited in the past. I repented to God at the renewal prayer and promised God that I will not do such things anymore, and that I will resist the devil. God is very jealous for me. 

After forsaking the false idols, my emotions have become more stable than before and I am much less anxious. 

I am also less fearful to express myself and my thoughts. I can quiet my heart down and be still to pray and seek the Lord’s guidance.

I have lifted up all my past shortcomings and mistakes to God, and no longer need to live in the guilt of my past. God is a God of life, and He gave me new life. I have found the original plan that God has for me through a prophetic word — and that is to equip me to be a shepherd of mercy whom God loves.

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