Jesus frees manager from blood pact with death
D experienced severe beatings and emotional abuse as a child. As a result, she became depressed and unknowingly made a blood covenant with Satan in an attempt to escape her misery. In spite of her forgotten memories, God pursued D until this pact was revealed and her heart was set free. Praise God!
I was pumped leading up to my second renewal prayer!
I used to hide under a veneer of frail happiness. The first time I went for a renewal prayer, I experienced God’s inner healing through much-needed repentance, severance of ungodly spiritual ties, and healing for the many wounds. Since then, my soul had been anchored on Christ, my emotions steady, and my life securely vulnerable because I didn’t have to hide anymore.
Because I believed I had already dealt with my past baggage, I expected my second prayer session to be focused on my future; to unlock the goodness God had in store for me. I was genuinely open to how the Holy Spirit would lead.
Instead of my expectations, God did something much, much, much deeper.
The Holy Spirit led my prayer counsellors to ask specific questions about my troubled childhood (that I thought I was over with). What I hadn’t realised that there was so much grief, sorrow, disappointment, anger, fear, unbelief, and escapism locked up in my heart from years of emotional and physical abuse, broken relationships, loneliness, and abandonment.
Before sleeping each night as a little girl, I used to dream about what my life would be like to great detail. It was my way of escaping the abuse at home. My parents fought a lot and my mother would turn the brunt of her anger on her children for simple things like spilling a cup of hot chocolate. One time, she was so angry, she went around the house looking for something to beat us with. When she couldn’t find anything, she drove out and bought a bamboo cane. The whole time, my sister and I were crying out to God to help us and to make mummy calm. She returned 45 minutes later and still beat us raw.
For a few years, my mum used to pick me up from school. If I was inattentive and didn’t spot her car approaching from at least a couple of metres away, she would honk and scream at me in front of everyone.
Because of this, I still had heart palpitations when waiting for someone.
She also humiliated us by making us answer questions like, “Don’t you think you are stupid to do something like that? Don’t you have any common sense?” I was regularly woken up to be abused or interrogated in the middle of the night.
During this period, my dad would ignore us and spend the whole day planting hibiscus in the garden. I was angry that nothing could be done. My parents eventually separated when I was 15 but the abuse at home didn’t end. It got worse.
Subsequently, I used razor blades to self-harm a lot. I felt angry, confused and trapped.
There were many more memories I could not recall. Every time we asked the Holy Spirit to reveal it to us, He did. It was through the tearful recollection of specific painful moments, that I could revisit them and surrender the people involved and the events to God. Often, it took me a long while to come to the point of surrender but God lovingly redeemed each part of my past. He wanted to bring His searing and healing light into these putrid and rancid parts so that darkness could no longer have a place to refuge in my heart.
Asking for the Holy Spirit’s revelation is so important as we don’t realise how much we are blinded.
Allow me to share one specific example. Ahead of my prayer session, my prayer counsellors kept getting the word “widow” and a vision of an ungodly spirit attached to me. I went through a mental directory of my family and kept coming up with random second- or third-degree connections of widows.
During my renewal prayer, we asked the Holy Spirit to show us and guide us. Suddenly I yelped out loud! It suddenly became clear to me – my maternal grandmother, my adopted grandmother and my paternal grandmother were all widowed through sudden and tragic circumstances. The connection was so close to home and yet my mind was blinded to this. Praise for God for this revelation!
We immediately prayed and broke this generational curse and commanded this widow spirit to leave me. I boldly declared that I have been set free through the power of the name of Jesus Christ!
After we dealt with so much emotional junk, I left feeling exhausted but also relieved.
Waking up the next morning, I expected to be jumping but I still felt exhausted. I allowed myself a few days of rest. But there was a physical and undeniable pain in my heart. I kept checking my spirit to understand if it was really there or if I was imagining it. After a week, it was certainly there. I would best describe it as a lock on my heart, a lock that was heavy and hurt.
I didn’t understand how this could happen. I was confused and did not know how to share this unfavourable development with my prayer counsellors. I cried in confusion, shame, bewilderment, and disappointment. And I cried to God. This lock was heavy and it weighed me down.
I sang worship songs and felt lighter – but yet this painful lock on my heart was still present.
After two weeks, I met with a prayer counsellor to pray again. Initially, we only planned to worship, but as I referenced earlier, it’s so important to be open to how the Holy Spirit will lead because God had something else planned.
Almost immediately after our first worship song, the Holy Spirit prompted the prayer counsellor with words of revelation and probing questions which led to more breakthroughs.
I realised I only spoke to Jesus. Not God the Father.
This was because I couldn’t identify how a father figure could be relatable, faithful, or good – because my own father was none of these things. I believed in Jesus but not in God, the Father. This was a fundamental flaw in my faith. It was our Heavenly Father who loved us so much that He gave His perfect and only Son, Jesus, as the perfect sacrifice for my sins, so that I can be eternally reconciled with Him.
John 3: 16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
As a teenager, in the depths of my depression, I used to self-harm and cut myself. On several occasions, I would make bloody lacerations on my body and sing the twisted lyrics of heavy metal rock songs, inviting death to take me. I had not realised that I had made a blood covenant with Satan as a child!
When I repented and revoked this contract through the redemption and power of the blood of Jesus, I literally saw a black sticky goo being lifted off my heart and thrown into a fire – forever gone.
Suddenly, I felt a warmth in my heart and the purification of God’s light.
I could breathe again. I declared that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I was not familiar territory for these dark spirits and that they can never ever find their way back to me.
1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
The word “bike” also kept coming up in the lead-up to and during the prayer session.
I didn’t understand how this was connected, other than that this was the best gift I had ever received as a child from my parents. It was a happy childhood memory because it signified that my parents had heard my desire for a bicycle and actually gifted it to me!
It was at the follow-up prayer session that I realised that I had held on to physical expressions of love and acceptance, instead of going straight to God the Father whom I hadn’t connected with before.
My prayer counsellor then had me read aloud the parable of the prodigal son and personalise it.
It took me a long time to read it out loud, because I was sobbing and heaving so hard. It was a huge release of very deep sorrow. I was that prodigal daughter that was finally returning to her loving, faithful, and delighted Father who ran to me, caught me before I fell, covered me with His cloak, and held me while I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. This was the breakthrough and that lock on my heart was broken.
Luke 15: 18-20 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your daughter. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And I arose and came to my father. But while I was still a long way off, my father saw me and felt compassion, and ran and embraced me and kissed me.
My prayer sessions dealt with inner healing that I didn’t realise I needed. It was through the healing of these hidden, painful deep wounds that this demonic lock on my heart was revealed.
It was almost as if the wounds had to be healed first before the spiritual misalignment could surface and be corrected.
I am so thankful for Father God who pursues us, never gives up on us, and loves us unfailingly. Real freedom comes through surrendering to the deeper, redemptive work of His great hands. May our hearts and lives shine brightly to testify of His name that breaks all chains. We can celebrate the beauty of transformation through His greater plan and the bloom of His love that never withers.
To receive notifications of new posts from Teaching Humble Hearts, please subscribe here .