Jesus frees manager from dark magic blood pact
R served actively in church with a hidden fear of not doing enough to gain God’s approval and favour. In a prayer session to seek the Holy Spirit’s revelations on the suppressed emotions, fears, and inner vows in her heart, R was finally able to break free from hidden demonic strongholds and experience God’s peace. Praise God!
My mother has been suffering from depression and anxiety for several years.
Her worsening health condition and mental breakdowns put a strain on our relationship. I lived under her shadow, succumbing to her manipulative behavior and fear. Every area of my life had been deeply impacted, from my social life and career to my relationship with my boyfriend.
Over time, I allowed the effects of my wounds and pains to distort the way I related to Father God. I noticed that I had the tendency to repeatedly repent over the same sin just to “feel” forgiven.
Whenever I prayed for others and received revelations from the Holy Spirit, I would be afraid of sharing it, fearing that it would displease God. What if I had mistaken His voice?
I struggled with self-criticism, accusation and judgment.
These unhealthy patterns of relating to God made me realise that I needed to receive inner healing and so I signed up for a second renewal prayer.
On the day of my prayer session, I was asked how I was feeling. Immediately, I burst into tears without knowing why. My prayer counsellor reassured me and told me not to worry. My reaction could point to the presence of evil spirits that kept me in bondage the knew that I would experience God’s deliverance from them that day.
As we began, I was asked to describe my spiritual walk with God since my first renewal prayer. I shared my experience of learning to exercise my spiritual authority in Christ, though I struggled to rest in God’s presence.
I had become critically conscious of my shortfalls and weaknesses before God.
It was always easy for me to recount my wrongdoings and flaws, rather than my inherited blessings as a child of God. As a result, I would relate to God as being punishing and angry, never pleased with what I do. I would falsely accuse myself of not doing enough for God, whether it be praying for others or acts of service. This left me restless all the time.
When I fell into temptation or sinned against God, I would be anxious and afraid that God would take away His blessings from me. I felt compelled to do something ‘good’ in order to earn back His approval and love for me. The constant need to prove myself before God put me in a state of feeling inadequate and unworthy of God’s love and grace. My prayer counsellors encouraged me to recall when I first adopted the pattern of looking at my own weaknesses and feeling like I’m not good or not doing enough. As I sought God in prayer, I was reminded of some significant incidents during my childhood.
I often placed myself as a mediator between mum and dad during their verbal arguments or physical fights.
Every time my parents got into a fight, I would find myself separating them physically and wanting to protect them from getting hurt. By the end of each conflict, mum and dad would expect me to say or do something to the other party in order to resolve the situation. I felt like it was my responsibility to maintain peace in their marriage. Whenever I failed to respond and things went wrong, I would feel guilty for not doing enough.
Another significant memory was of my mother forcing food down my throat.
When I was around six-years-old, my dad often came back home late. During that period, my parents would get into fights over my father’s extramarital affair.
One night, mum prepared dinner and there was a dish I did not like and refused to eat. She forced the food down my throat with a metal spoon while complaining that I was adding to her burdens. From then on, I would be careful how my words or actions may affect my mum and developed the mentality of ‘doing the right thing’ in front of her.
Over time, I developed many inner vows:
- “I must be good.”
- “I must do the right thing.”
- “I need to be the peacemaker of my family.”
- “I am the saviour of the family.”
- “I am always the one to blame if anything goes wrong.”
- “I must be mature.”
- “I must avoid conflict.”
- “I must try harder and keep trying.”
- “I don’t really fit in.”
- “I must earn my parents love.”
- “I need to stand up and defend myself.”
- “I need to be selective with who I become friends with and protect myself from being hurt.”
- “I can’t let my feelings show.”
- “I have to redeem what is broken.”
- “If I don’t do the right things, bad things will happen.”
- “I need to fight the good fight (and be a prayer warrior for my family).”
The Holy Spirit revealed the lies I had come to believe as a result.
I was encouraged to ask God how He sees me and He revealed through my prayer counsellor that He uniquely created me to be “creative, spontaneous, lovely and fun.” I was then led to renounce these false statements, repent of judging my mother, and declare God’s truths over myself.
|“I am not good enough.”||● God’s creation is good and beautiful.
● I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
|“I need to do something or else nothing will change.”||● God is capable of changing things and He is in control.
|“I can’t let my parents suffer like this.”||● God has a greater purpose for my family even in times of pain and suffering. He can take what is broken and make it into something good according to HIs will.
|“If I don’t do anything, my parents will get mad.”||● God doesn’t need me to do anything.
|“If I don’t do anything, I am useless.”||● I am worthy in God’s eyes. My value is not based on what I do but what Christ has done for me on the cross.
|“I can take this (I’ve got this together).”||● God sent Jesus to endure my sins and pain on the cross. I can depend on God alone.
|“I don’t have the right to share my feelings.”||● God cares about how I feel.
● God is kind and compassionate.
After revoking the lies and inner vows, I was led in prayer to recall how I felt when my mum forced food down my throat.
As I prayed, I saw two distant dark and faceless figures.
The Holy Spirit revealed that they represented the two principalities of darkness operating in my family – the spirit of reprobate and the spirit of lust. I confessed my family’s related generational sins and occult practices and commanded those spirits to leave me in the name of Jesus.
When I prayed, I still experienced trouble with expressing my emotions and was led to kneel before the Lord to humble myself and acknowledge His lordship over my life. As we sought the Holy Spirit for guidance, I saw an image of a white lady and a prayer counsellor was prompted to ask me about my relationship with my best friend in childhood and her parents. I was reminded of her family’s engagement in dark magic and entering into a blood pact with her as a child.
The ‘white lady’ was a demonic spirit associated with her parents, who referred to me as their ‘god daughter’ and whom I had submitted to as a result.
This indirectly opened a door of influence to the dark powers they worshipped.
As I cast these evil spirits away in the name of Jesus, I was then able to release my suppressed emotions towards my mother. I felt the pain and helplessness I experienced during the ‘spoon incident’ and was able to speak freely of my feelings to my mother. I then saw God’s light surrounding and protecting me as a child in the midst of the darkness.
I learnt that my previous demonic strongholds gave the enemy power to ‘block’ my emotions as a ‘final attempt’ to prevent me from experiencing the healing God had prepared for me.
As I continued to bow down in worship to God, I was asked to describe what His throne room looked like. First, I saw bright light and I was playing with butterflies. I then saw myself floating on the ocean and experienced immense peace.
It was the first time I was completely submerged in God’s peace, resting in His presence and bathing in His light.
It felt so new to just be still before Him. I was so used to ‘doing something’ and trying to please Him. I finally understood what it meant to just BE His daughter.
Psalm 23:1-3 NIV The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.”
Matthew 11:28 NIV “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
One of the significant differences I noticed after my renewal prayer is being able to honestly share my feelings with Father God.
No longer do I feel ashamed about my emotions, particularly the anger I have towards my mother during conflicts. I am able to submit these feelings to God knowing that He cares about my emotional wellbeing.
His Spirit continues to guide and counsel me with wisdom on how to draw healthy boundaries with my mother – to differentiate between what’s my responsibility and what’s hers.
The biggest breakthrough I experienced is the ability to confront my mother whenever I felt hurt or violated, even if that might trigger her to become angrier whereas in the past I would be afraid of letting these emotions surface.
Over time, my mom and I have been able to better understand, empathise with, and appreciate one another.
I praise God for continuing to soften my mother’s heart to the point where she had become more aware of her own weaknesses and acknowledge her wrongdoings before me.
God has also blessed me with new spiritual gifts and opened doors to joyfully bless others with what He has given me, not by works but by His grace alone.
Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
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