Jesus frees designer from occult curses
A is a young Christian who sought to be free from her occult ties and family curses. Jesus gently led her on a journey to understand that true renewal begins with the right attitude and set her free from her Buddhist spiritual roots. Praise God!
Before becoming a Christian, I considered myself a Buddhist.
I have been involved in various occult and New Age practices, such as ancestor worship, idol worship, fortune-telling and psychic reading. While I was fasting and filling in my renewal prayer form, there was a sense of heaviness and sorrow in my chest. I later learnt that spirits related to the occult tend to oppress us and cause sorrow when we seek God because they do not want to leave.
Filing out the renewal prayer form, I had to re-visit some very painful memories. Reviewing and reflecting on my past made me realise that I had long suppressed my feelings. Just by “sweeping them under the carpet” and telling myself, “It is fine,” did not help my wounds heal. I realised that I was still secretly holding on to them and had let hatred and anger grow inside me. I was holding on to a lot of judgements towards others and unforgiveness towards some family members.
Because of the large amount of occult practices I had been involved with, my renewal prayer had to be broken into two sessions.
In the first session, we focused on repenting of worshipping quite a few false idols, such as Guanyin, Buddha, Jade Emperor, and Ghost King. We also focused on cutting ungodly soul ties with all the fortune-tellers, psychic mediums, their masters and with the spirits they dedicate themselves to. I also cut spiritual ties with some ungodly places I have visited in the past. Somehow, I felt very nervous, embarrassed, and confused. Towards the end of this session, the heaviness did not go away and my head suddenly started to hurt.
My counsellors also sensed the heaviness but we couldn’t figure out why it was still there since we had dealt with so much of the occult I had been involved in. I also felt a lack of confidence in praying and did not feel the power and the authority given to me through Jesus Christ. I also didn’t see visions or hear from God like so many of the renewal prayer testimonies I had heard and read about.
I felt very disappointed because nothing in particular has happened and we ran out of time to address my emotional wounds. Although my counsellors encouraged me and told me to trust in God’s timing and that what the Holy Spirit has revealed to me during this session was enough, I was very upset.
A lot of doubt, unbelief, and even anger started to grow in my heart towards God.
In the next two months before my second prayer session, my emotions were set on a rollercoaster. I felt extremely vulnerable. Also, the heaviness in my chest had manifested into physical pain. I began to experience anxiety and panic attacks. I became really angry. I felt that God did not want to help me and that He had abandoned me.
I kept on asking Him why He would lead me to this place if He didn’t want to deal with my problems. I told Him I really don’t understand what is wrong with wanting to receive visions, to be healed, and to be transformed. I felt He was not as fair as He claimed to be.
I felt that God did not love me as much as He loves others.
A counsellor encouraged me to continue to fast, pray and persevere. In the meanwhile, I also made reading God’s Word a priority. My struggles did not end, but I started to notice God speaking to me through His Word. He told me that, “Little by little, He will drive out my enemies” and that “If I seek Him with all my heart and all my soul, He will be found”.
Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
Gradually, I started to realise that I had a wrong attitude towards God.
The things I had asked Him for were very much rooted in the desires of my own flesh. I was impatient and some of my motivations were just not right. So instead of repeating the same old requests, I started to ask for His guidance and patience. I also asked His Spirit to search my heart and to reveal what it is that has been blocking me. I felt much better afterwards but the wrestling of my thoughts continued.
One night, I decided to stop fasting and to eat junk food as a way to get back at God as I felt He had not revealed enough. After my binge eating, I broke into tears. I felt so terrible that I broke God’s trust and my promise to continue to seek Him and persevere. I confessed my weaknesses and repented for not keeping my word.
That night, His Spirit led me to discover a long list of other false idols and occult practices I had been closely involved in.
The Holy Spirit reminded me that I had worshipped false gods from Tibetan Buddhism (Mahayana Buddhism) and that there was even such an altar in my parents’ home. He also reminded me that I might have unknowingly yoked myself to the related spirits when visiting all their temples, including White Tara, Fierce deities, Medicine Buddha, Manjusri Bodhisattva and many, many more. I felt prompted to research on these spirits and to cut spiritual ties with them individually.
2 Corinthians 6:16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
I realised I had been so “blinded” by Satan that I did not even mention them in my first renewal prayer. I cut spiritual ties with all of them. The next morning, I felt a little lighter.
2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
After this experience, I decided to fast and pray some more. During this time, more of my brokenness was revealed. I realised that I have been taking control of my life.
I had been asking God to do my will, instead of following His will.
I realised that I am just a broken human. I cannot control anything and have been limiting God. I had not been able to fully submit to Him. God is a loving Father, but He is also almighty and all-powerful. His ways and thoughts are higher than ours. Who am I to challenge my Maker and to tell Him what to do!
I cried, confessed, and repented but somehow, I got triggered again. The idea that “God is not fair” started to come back and I started to accuse God even more for not loving me enough and for not being fair to me.
That night I was so bothered that I decided to go to bed early and to not think about anything – and of course, to not repent. While I was playing a random worship playlist as I was brushing my teeth, I heard the lyrics “Jesus the Nazarene” and suddenly broke into tears.
It was a heart cry that I had never experienced before. My heart was full of sorrow and pain.
I felt the Holy Spirit had moved me to tears and led me to deep repentance from my heart. There was no condemnation or guilt, only forgiveness from God.
Joel 2:12-13 ESV “Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.
I felt God was telling me that He will meet me at my worst, even though I have accused Him for all the wrong that He did not do. He still chooses to love me. That is why He had come in a human form and chose to be born in Nazareth, a place that people had believed nothing good could come from.
John 1:46 ESV Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.”
So, I confessed to Him, I told Him I was sorry for accusing Him for all that He is not and I thanked Him for His love for me.
Although I still worried about my upcoming second renewal prayer session, I told God I would trust Him; that whatever He was going to reveal or do was going to be enough for me. I trust that He will finish what He started and He will fulfil His promises. I prayed for faith, trust, and patience.
Philippians 1:6 ESV And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
The night before my second prayer session, I received a dream where I was in a cinema with my aunt and my cousin. All the seats were tied with red fabric. I heard a voice warning everyone not to sit on the chairs without the red fabric. Otherwise, we would be possessed by demons.
In some Chinese cultures, tying red thread or red fabric is a way to scare away demons and bring good luck and protection.
Immediately, I acknowledged this as an occult practice but I hesitated a bit. Having wrestled with my thoughts for a while, I chose to trust God and His power.
So, I took off the red fabric and sat on the chair. A middle-aged man rushed to me and he said “Miss, don’t seat on the chair without red fabric tied on it. Otherwise, the demons will come to you.” I turned around and said, “You know, I am a Christian and I believe in this God called Jesus. You don’t have to be afraid of the demons, because Jesus is here!”
Many other people, however, chose to sit on the chairs with red fabric tied on them.
I grieved that so many were still living in the darkness and enslaved by their occult practices.
The next thing I noticed was that my aunt was trying to push her seat back towards me. Somehow, her image overlapped with my mum’s. I was annoyed by her pushing into my personal space and crossing the boundaries, so I left. When I went out, I noticed I had lots of Buddhist praying beads and bracelets on my right arm.
I woke up and initially did not think that this was a revelation. I just thought that it was cool that I witnessed to someone in my dream. I felt great because I showed faith, even in my dream. But the more I thought about this, the more I felt it was a message from God.
I shared this dream with my prayer counsellors. They agreed that this dream was a revelation from God.
The prayer beads were probably the list of additional Tibetan Buddhism occult ties God had revealed that I now needed to formally cut ties with in Jesus’ name.
We also sensed that I needed to cut ungodly soul ties with my mum more often, since she still prays to idolatrous spirits for me. The Holy Spirit also revealed to my prayer counsellors that there were many generational curses on me, because of the violence, hatred, and oppression from the wars and famines my family had experienced in the past.
These curses were the roots of my fears, insecurities, angers and rebellion.
As I started to repent and renounce with these occult ties, my inner vows, my generational curses, and the curses I had placed on myself and on others, I felt the power and authority God has granted to me in the name of Jesus.
I felt I finally received freedom. As I repented and returned to our Father, I knew He received me with His open arms. The curses are no more! God will turn the curses into blessings! As I declared who I am in God’s eyes, I felt I have been truly made new by the washing of Jesus’ blood.
I could not stop smiling the next day and I felt so much lighter!
Looking back, I can now see that God was with me all the time. The two months of waiting was very difficult and I wanted to give up so many times. But God used this time to teach me, to soften my heart, and gently guide me to choose to return to Him. God is faithful. He did not give up on me.
Even though I still have many problems, I trust in God’s timing. He will bring more healing and transformation if I wait on Him. I also learnt to consult Him and ask the Holy Spirit to search my heart more.
It was such a wonderful experience to have my heart opened to see spiritual truths that we are not be able to see on our own.
What’s more significant and amazing is not just what He did but who He is and how He does things! Our Father’s desire is to circumcise our hearts. Our fleshly desire is to change our outward circumstances, take control, and follow our self-will. God wants to change our inner beings. He wants to save our “inner man” from the curses of rejection and pride. It is only when we choose to die in our flesh and fully submit to Him that we can be made fully alive.
Deuteronomy 30:6 ESV And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.
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