Jesus delivers a Hindu convert from her anxieties
A came from a Hindu family that worshipped numerous idols. She was also diagnosed with a mental illness where she experienced a lot of anxiety and a couple of mental breakdowns. During a time of prayer, the Holy Spirit revealed the roots of her anxieties as she repented before God for all of her past idol worship and inner vows. Through a vision, God assured her that He would give her a new future. Praise God!
I was born in a Hindu family.
All these years, my mother has always asked our family to perform Hindu rituals for protection. We also believed in a number of Hindu gods and goddesses, including a Hindu goddess who had committed self-immolation on her husband’s death.
During my childhood, my father and my eldest brother passed away unexpectedly. My mother has always suspected that someone had placed a curse on us, which had caused the deaths of the key male members of our family. This made her even more dedicated in her prayers for us.
Among the Hindu rituals is an annual festival that celebrates the love of a brother for his sister.
On this day, I would tie a string called a “rakhi” on the wrists of my brothers to protect them against evil influences, and pray for their long life and happiness.
Apart from the Hindu rituals, I was also influenced by my nanny who had looked after me since I was a baby. I was and still am very close to her. I treated her as my mother too. My nanny believes in horoscopes and Chinese zodiac signs. I believe that this has led me into thinking that I am hardworking because my horoscope reading said I am “mysterious and diligent”. The impact of this and what I needed to repent of will be explained later below.
When I was about 24 years old, I had a mental breakdown and suffered from schizophrenia.
I did not know the exact cause of the illness. My treatment continued to be in the form of daily medication. I did not anticipate a relapse of this illness.
Thereafter, I continued to engage in a number of occult practices, including worshipping idols, visiting a feng shui master and visiting astrologers, etc. mainly because I was spiritually and emotionally insecure. I was searching hard for protection and security.
Unfortunately, this mental illness relapsed a few years ago.
I was under immense stress due to some very difficult circumstances at home at the time. Because I decided to control my own destiny, to work hard to secure my future, and to make sure that my family will not go through hard times, the immense stress I felt from my inner vows led to another mental breakdown.
When I was in the hospital for my relapse, I began praying to God. I had gone to a Catholic school where we all attended mass and I learnt we could pray to an almighty God, so I prayed on a daily basis and became a Christian shortly after I have recovered.
I came to realise that there is nothing we can control in our lives, God is in control.
When I was ill in hospital, there was nothing that I could control. I could not control my own destiny anymore. I learnt to surrender to God. No matter how hard we try, God has a greater plan for each of us.
However, throughout all these years, I still tended to yoke myself with people and idolised my family and friends for wisdom, counsel, and comfort whenever I was faced with difficulties, instead of going to God. I gradually came to realise that their love is not complete. Eventually, I turned to God alone. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our trouble…” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Last year, my brother and I attended the Love the Lord course which shed light on the impact of occult practices and inner vows.
I was delighted to learn that I can pray for myself to confess and repent of all my wrongdoings and sins in the past.
That is how my journey to do a renewal prayer began. My brother went for his renewal prayer first. On that day, he got baptised and delivered of some unclean spirits. Amazingly, I too experienced some deliverance at the same time while I was at home (without knowing what was happening with my brother).
I began singing the song “Amazing Grace” and felt much lighter at around the same time my brother got baptised and delivered.
This experience gave me greater hope for deliverance for myself during my own renewal prayer.
I believe that this happened because I was spiritually “tied” to my brother through the rakhi ritual we did every year at the temple. We were both freed from this idol practice at the same time.
During my renewal prayer, I also got baptised after I repented of my submission to other people. I chose to submit to and worship God alone and to be resurrected by the Holy Spirit into new life in the name of Jesus Christ.
For many years after becoming a Christian, I had been afraid of trusting God. As we prayed, the Holy Spirit pointed out my fear of betraying my mother, as well as a fear of abandonment and rejection as the reasons. I confessed my fears and declared that I will place my trust in God.
I also declared that I will rely on God, instead of solely relying on myself or trusting myself.
I used to believe that I must work hard and provide for my family. These inner vows created immense stress upon me. That day, I replaced my inner vows with God’s truths, that He alone will provide. I declared that I will have faith in God.
Moreover, I also repented of going to temples and believing in witchcraft and ungodly beliefs, including my nanny’s opinions of assessing friends based on zodiacs and other signs; looking at people through the lens of zodiacs rather than the lens of God.
In addition to that, I renounced my parents’ dedication of our family to all the spirits at home, and declared myself as belonging to God, the Creator of life and asked the Holy Spirit to fill me. I also confessed all the family rituals that I did and rejected them in Jesus’ name and turned fully to Jesus.
Inspired by the Holy Spirit, the prayer counsellors suggested that it was not a person that had cursed our family that brought on the deaths of the male members of the family. Instead, they pointed out that we had been worshipping a spirit of widowhood and death.
That gave Satan footholds in our family to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10).
I also renounced the identity of being mentally ill and the need for medication for salvation, relying on the Holy Spirit to receive God’s healing with joy, instead of just these things.
Romans 1:19-23 ESV For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.
During the prayer session, the Holy Spirit brought me back to an incident from my childhood.
I recalled standing in front of my mother at the age of five and crying. She said my piano lessons had brought the family bad luck and asked me to stop learning piano. This traumatised me. Playing the piano was the one thing I really loved, but now I had to give it up for the sake of the family. I also felt I had been the source of great harm. This led to great striving and shame.
God helped me confess the feelings I had suppressed all these years. Then I prayed and forgave my mother.
Towards the end of the prayer session, I knelt down and felt that God wanted to speak to me. There was some light and I felt He wanted to hug me. I had a vision that God was holding my hands, and there were tears in His eyes because of joy.
During the renewal prayer session, the prayer counsellor prayed the following prophetic words as led by the Holy Spirit. I felt truly loved by God. “…You are my Ruth. Today, I redeem you. I chose Ruth out of the gentile nation she was from to be part of the lineage of my Son. Do not look at the past. When I redeem, I will give you a new future. I am so proud of you for turning away from the idols…” (Ruth 1;-4, Matthew 1:5)
Since my renewal prayer, I have felt much lighter. I feel more joy and hope, and am less anxious and depressed.
I would say that I have recovered from schizophrenia. This is a miracle in itself. Praise God!
I am also more aware of spiritual influences.
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