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Spouse (unbeliever)

Some of us became followers of Jesus Christ when committed in marriage to an unbeliever. While the apostle Paul stated that we are not meant to partner with unbelievers, he also stated that we should not seek to separate if we are already married to one. We can certainly seek to be His light to all in our households.

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 配偶(不信者) | 繁體中文 > 配偶(不信者))


2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV  Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

 1 Corinthians 7:12-17,24 ESV  To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches… So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.

Matthew 5:14-15 ESV  “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.

A prayer for our unbelieving spouse

“Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for being with me every day of my life and for being present at my wedding. Today, I commit my marriage and my spouse to You.

I welcome the Holy Spirit’s guidance and conviction as I study Your Word and learn to obey Your will, so that I become a conduit of Jesus’ perfect love in my home. May there be more of Christ in me, and less of my own fleshly tendencies, so that my spouse will see that Jesus Christ is alive through me. I desire to reflect Your character.

John 3:30 ESV  He must increase, but I must decrease.” 

2 Timothy 2:24-26 ESV And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Please also bring loving and God-fearing followers of Jesus into our lives as beacons of Your Light. May my family come to know the truth through living examples of Jesus Christ. I know that on my own, this would be impossible but with God, all things are possible. Please give me the wisdom and patience to testify of Your goodness and Your truth. 

Matthew 5:16 ESV  In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 19:25-26 ESV When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Where my spouse may not understand my newfound faith, I will respectfully endure and forgive all ridicule or unbelief. In the name of Jesus, I bind the spirits of unbelief, spiritual blindness, and division in my household. To honour Jesus as Lord of my home,  I remove all objects of idol worship and witchcraft that used to belong to me. Holy Spirit, please bring my attention to the things that I need to destroy and discard. See Cleansing prayer over a property.

1 Peter 3:15 ESV  But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

I submit all my desires, expectations, and emotions about my spouse and marriage to my Heavenly Father, who has said that no one should separate a man and woman who have committed to life together in marriage. I repent of all the times I have judged my spouse and considered myself to be wiser or better. There have been times I have even been tempted to abandon my spouse, physically or emotionally. This is not the way of Jesus, who never forsakes us. I ask for Your forgiveness and invite the Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of love, joy, peace and truth, to guard and guide my heart.

Mark 10:7-9 ESV  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Teach me how to surrender all anger, bitterness, disappointments, hurt, and self-righteousness to You daily, so that I do not give Satan an opportunity to hijack my heart or wreck my marriage. I know I have an enemy that will tempt me to turn away from God and that I will have to stand firm.

Ephesians 4:26 ESV  Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

Ephesians 6:11 ESV  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 

Galatians 5:1 ESV  For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Thank you for every member of my family. Today, I also pray to bless my in-laws with love, peace, and good health. I humble myself before my Creator, who created them too and ask for You to teach me how to honour and love them well. Please also form a hedge of protection around all of us and especially our children.

2 Thessalonians 3:3 ESV But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.  

1 John 5:14-15 ESV  And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

I dedicate every aspect of my marriage and household to Jesus’ redemption. I ask for their salvation. You do not wish any of my household to perish and neither do I. I know there will be challenges but as long as I persevere for the glory of my Father in heaven, there will be hope and victory. What a joy it is to have Your Spirit in me and to have Jesus as my Saviour and Friend all the days of my life. Thank you, Lord, for Your faithfulness.

Hebrews 11:6 ESV  And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

2 Peter 3:9 ESV  The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

John 15:12-14 ESV  “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.

In Jesus’ name, amen.”


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