Image for Self as spouse

Self as spouse

Marriage can be a test of our commitment to God’s will for our lives. It can also be a great blessing. Let us aspire to be a husband or wife who delights God by praying for the wisdom to honour our spouses every day. With the Holy Spirit’s guidance and conviction, we will bring His perfect love, peace, joy and hope into our marriages.

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 作为一个配偶的我 | 繁體中文 > 作為一個配偶的我)


Romans 15:13 NIV  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

A prayer as a wife or husband

“Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for my spouse and all his/her wonderful attributes. Let me be a channel of Your love. 

Mark 10:7-9 ESV  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

I confess that the act of becoming one with another person is an ongoing journey, and I am still learning how to submit to Your design for marriage. So I thank You for Your promise to protect us and not allow anyone, including me, to separate us. There were many things I didn’t expect to have to deal with when I first met my spouse and I confess that the everyday trials of life sometimes test my commitment to my marriage. 

Help me to die to my own selfish desires and remember that You are the Head of our marriage and our household. 

1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV  But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 

Please show me how I can love my spouse selflessly. Lord, please help me to accept his/her weaknesses, and not count his/her faults nor try to change my spouse. Instead, help me to see the potential for You to transform my beloved more and more into Your image, and to trust You to work in my spouse’s life as I pray for the both of us each day.

I humbly submit to You for the leadership of my marriage, beyond my own limited ideas. Help me to build, serve and point my spouse towards a more intimate relationship with You, while I make it a point to confess my own mistakes and sinful ways. Help me to be transparent, vulnerable and sincere with my spouse.

Romans 14:19 ESV  So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Galatians 5:13 ESV  For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Hebrews 10:24 ESV  And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,

James 5:16 ESV  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Help me to watch my thoughts and my words about my spouse, remembering that You know every one of them. I surrender each disappointment, frustration or wound to You, and choose not to talk about my spouse behind his/her back. Help me not to malign the life partner You have given me and therefore dishonour the covenant that I made before You. 

Psalm 19:14 ESV  Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Teach me how to protect the time it takes to enjoy and affirm my spouse, and continue to nurture the initial attraction we had for each other when we first met. Show me the wisdom I need so I do not let work, finance issues, children or in-laws come in the way of our intimacy. Help us to grow more in love with each other year after year.

Hebrews 13:4 ESV  Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Holy Spirit, please remind me to honour my marriage above all my other earthly relationships. At the same time, give me wisdom in how I can intentionally bless my spouse’s parents.  Please mould me and make me more like You and a godly role model of Christ to my spouse, children and in-laws.

In Jesus’ name, amen.”


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