Not being able to have children of our own raises anxious questions about our self-worth and identity, and can put us on a roller-coaster ride of uncomfortable emotions; grief, self-doubt, shame, guilt, self-condemnation, helplessness, bitterness, or anger. We may even be tempted to resent or blame God. Thankfully, we can go to God for His comfort, reassurance, and guidance during such all our trials and sorrows.
John 16:33 NLT I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
A prayer to seek God’s comfort and help for infertility
“Dear Heavenly Father,
I confess I struggle to come to terms with being infertile. One of my core aspirations is to have my own family. Your Word says that children are a blessing. Yet I have had so much trouble conceiving, despite spending so much time and money looking for and trying earthly remedies.
Psalm 127:3-5 ESV Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
I have hesitated to seek You first, because I am afraid that You may be punishing me for something I have done wrong in the past. Please help build my faith in You, and not myself, and correct me where I may have strayed away from Your Word and will.
This has been a challenging season and test for me. Whenever I see babies and families with young children, Satan fills my mind with temptations to pity myself, envy them, and doubt Your love and goodness. You say that You will never forsake me, but I feel like You have. I confess that the enemy has corrupted my heart. Please deliver me from his evil lies with Your truth.
Isaiah 49:15 NIV “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
I am often at a loss for words when family and friends ask me when we will have children. There is pressure to continue our family line to the next generation. Sometimes, I make up some excuse and lie, please forgive me for spreading falsehood.
Colossians 3:9 ESV Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices
I feel frustrated by my current condition and need emotional support. At the same time, I am afraid to let others know about my struggles. I don’t want any pity, questions, or scorn.
There are times when I am anxious in my own marriage bed, and have turned the joy of sexual intimacy into a functional task of getting pregnant. Instead of honouring my spouse and loving him/her fully, sex has now become about conceiving a baby. Please forgive me.
Hebrews 13:4 NLT Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage…
I am anxious that my spouse may be tempted to look elsewhere because I am unable to give him/her children. Please sooth and protect my anxious heart, Jesus! I know You understand my feelings. I humble myself before You and entrust this marriage to You, so that Satan will not devour my faith by filling me with anxious thoughts. Satan, I silence you in Jesus’ name.
1 Peter 5:6-10 ESV Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
Today, I pray to remove all footholds of the enemy against me. I wish to repent and set right my relationship with You. Please search my heart so that I can be set free from any traps that the enemy has enslaved me in. (Please wait and see if the Holy Spirit brings anything to mind)
Romans 6:19 NLT … Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy.
Where I have cursed myself by saying something such as “I never want to have or cannot have children,” or “I will never have healthy children,” or “I don’t want to live,” I now repent and renounce in Jesus’ name.
If I have ever cursed another mother or woman’s womb, and now reap what I have sown, I fully repent and ask for Your forgiveness. Thank you for Your discipline.
Galatians 6:7-8 ESV Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
Revelation 3:19 ESV Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.
Hebrews 12:11 ESV For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Today, I praise You for this body, even if I am not able to conceive, as this is Your will for me. Please forgive me for quenching the Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of Life, and for speaking words of death over myself, or for grumbling and complaining.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 ESV Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit.
John 6:63 ESV It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.
Proverbs 18:21 ESV Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
If anyone, including doctors, fortune tellers, or family members, has cursed my body with infertility by saying that I will never have children, I now forgive them, cut ungodly soul ties with them, and bless them with love, joy and peace.
Luke 6:27-28 ESV “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
For those who have hurt me by brushing me off or belittling my feelings or my body, I now forgive in Jesus’ name because they were not aware of how I felt.
Luke 23:34 ESV And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” …
Your Word has strong warnings against worshipping Satan through witchcraft and Idol worship, and the effect it has on our ability to conceive.
Hosea 9:10-11 NLT The Lord says, “…When I saw your ancestors, it was like seeing the first ripe figs of the season. But then they deserted me for Baal-peor, giving themselves to that shameful idol. Soon they became vile, as vile as the god they worshiped. The glory of Israel will fly away like a bird, for your children will not be born or grow in the womb or even be conceived.
Isaiah 47:9,11 ESV These two things shall come to you in a moment, in one day; the loss of children and widowhood shall come upon you in full measure, in spite of your many sorceries and the great power of your enchantments… But evil shall come upon you, which you will not know how to charm away; disaster shall fall upon you, for which you will not be able to atone; and ruin shall come upon you suddenly, of which you know nothing.
Satan kills and destroys and he will kill and destroy the good fruit of our bodies.
John 10:10 ESV The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
Today, I fully repent of the evil that my family, my ancestors and I have committed against You by practising the occult (please fast and carefully prepare a thorough list of all idol worship and witchcraft in your family and your own life). I cut ungodly soul ties with the people who have led me to such evil, as well as their spiritual masters, the defiled places they have been to and the cursed objects they have used in Jesus’ name. I command all unclean spirits from these people, activities, and places to leave me in Jesus’ name.
Please refer to Examples of the occult
Where I have been complicit in the killing of innocent unborn children through abortions, whether my own baby/babies or someone else’s, I now repent and ask for Your forgiveness.
Exodus 23:7 ESV Keep far from a false charge, and do not kill the innocent and righteous, for I will not acquit the wicked.
Before I was born, You have set out the days of my life and all Your plans are good. Jesus paid for my body with His blood, and I belong to Him. Today, I re-dedicate this body and my heart to You in Jesus’ name, please teach me to live a holy and blameless life before You.
1 Corinthians 6:20 ESV for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Ephesians 1:4-5 ESV even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,
Help me resist the temptation of going through IVF or enlisting a surrogate mother, and enforcing my own will over Yours. Forgive me for the numerous times I have made having children an idol in my heart. Help me to turn this desire into something that brings You glory. If it is Your will, I will choose to conceive naturally so that I know that any child we have is truly from You and will be a blessing to our family.
Deuteronomy 7:12-15 ESV “And because you listen to these rules and keep and do them, the Lord your God will keep with you the covenant and the steadfast love that he swore to your fathers. He will love you, bless you, and multiply you. He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground, your grain and your wine and your oil, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock, in the land that he swore to your fathers to give you. You shall be blessed above all peoples. There shall not be male or female barren among you or among your livestock.
Thank you, God, for Your faithfulness and for hearing the cries of my heart.
Psalm 34:17-18 ESV When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen.”
Also, see Responding to our pregnancy difficulties
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