Healthy Christian fellowship groups

Healthy Christian fellowships provide safe places for believers to gather regularly and grow in their personal relationships with God. Some communities emphasise Bible study while others are activity based. Whatever the case, the best groups are ones where participants feel safe to be challenged in their faith and will lovingly encourage one another in their walks with God.

 

What helps to foster healthy Christians communities?

1. Leaders who are motivated by their love for God

Unlike Jesus’ earthly family, none of us grew up with the Son of God at home. Ideally, we learn what it looks like to love God and love others in this broken chaotic world by practising such values within godly communities first.

It is often said that faith is “caught” more than taught, meaning that people learn more from godly role models than they do from theoretical teaching. It is imperative that fellowship leaders inspire and encourage others in their faith and willingly model compassionate, humility, patience, grace, wisdom, sacrifice and self-control. God will bring certain personalities who will challenge leaders in different ways, and we will be sharpened when we choose His ways over our own. Every personality clash or crisis is an opportunity to practice becoming more Christ-like together.

1 Peter 5:2-3 NLT  Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example.

This means that the more fellowship leaders imitate God and walk in His love, the more their groups will flourish. The modified I.M.I.T.A.T.E. model below (accreditation unavailable) summarises some good leadership behaviours.

Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Leaders who love themselves or love people more than they love God will be quickly disillusioned and burnt out. But leaders who are motivated by their love for God will persevere in His love and continue to inspire others long after they have stepped down.

Romans 5:4-5 ESV  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

How do we ensure that leaders are motivated by their love for God?

In any fellowship group, it is usually the leaders’ needs that are the most neglected and underserved. It is therefore important that leaders make it a point to receive love, encouragement and spiritual nourishment outside of the groups that they serve in. Take Jesus for example. In spite of the demands of the crowds that came to look for Him, He intentionally withdrew regularly to lonely places to be with His Father. If the Son of God needed to do that, how much more fellowship leaders. We must go to God often for rest, self-reflection and revelation, and trust the Holy Spirit to restore our souls at the deepest levels.

Luke 5:15-16 NIV  Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

It is also good that leaders have a few godly people whom they stay accountable to and can talk about their struggles and griefs. The danger for any leader is to become blindsided and entrenched in their own ways, and become spiritually proud or complacent.

Leaders who serve with the secret expectation of being noticed or appreciated will also be sorely disappointed. We need to keep our eyes fixed firmly on God as the source of our identity, worth and affirmation. Otherwise, we can become jealous, bitter or resentful – and a perfect role model for Satan, instead of our Heavenly Father. We must be quick to seek counsel, deliverance or inner healing if we ever sense any blockage that prevents us from serving God. Our calling is to be cheerful givers who “abound in every good work”.

James 1:19 ESV  Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 9:7-10 ESV  Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

There may always be the temptation to adopt worldly “best practices” but leaders of healthy Christian communities know better than to blindly follow them. The best practices we should follow are laid out in the Bible. Our performance is rated by God and our rewards are in heaven.

2. Submitted to the Holy Spirit

It is not the many that will enter heaven but the few who diligently follow Jesus and do God’s will (Matthew 22:14). The Bible makes it clear that we will be surrounded by people who “will act religious but reject the power that could make them godly” (2 Timothy 3:5). A large community of religious looking people is no indication of God’s pleasure and blessing. Rather it is those who are committed in their walk with God that will be chosen to enter His kingdom.

Matthew 22:14 ESV  For many are called, but few are chosen.”

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

3. Aware of the enemy’s schemes

Living authentically as a submitted Christian is challenging when we have an enemy that shoots annoying flaming darts (Ephesians 6:16) in our direction. The Bible records that sometimes, Satan manages to hinder God’s angels (Daniel 10:12-13) and workers (1 Thessalonians 2:18).

The enemy will bring delays, conflict, misunderstanding and division to any fellowship group that seeks to honour God. If Satan can’t get people to sin against God, he will simply make them feel disheartened and drop out – all the time blinding us to the fact that we represent the most powerful Being in the entire Universe, God the Father Himself.

1 Thessalonians 2:18 ESV  because we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, again and again—but Satan hindered us.

How can we stay alert to the enemy’s schemes?

Like the apostle Paul, we should stay alert and aware of Satan’s schemes. This means we must:

• Have faith that God is always in control no matter how bad things may look (Ephesians 6:16);
• Rejoice and praise God in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18);
• Quickly “forgive whatever needs to be forgiven” for the benefit of the community (2 Corinthians 2:10-11);
• Learn about and be armed against attacks and temptations from the enemy (Ephesians 6:12);
• Learn to test if certain ideas, suggestions or behaviour (1 John 4:1) are really from the Holy Spirit or from the enemy whose purpose is to deceive, discourage, disunite and destroy; and
• Ask our Heavenly Father for protection from Satan’s schemes (John 17:15).

Ephesians 6:16 ESV  In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;

2 Corinthians 2:10-11 NLT  … And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.

1 John 4:1 ESV  Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God…

4. Focus on spiritual transformation

You recognise spiritual transformation when people find they “cannot keep on sinning” (1 John 3:9).

1 John 3:9 ESV  No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God.

Fellowship groups that look more like social clubs don’t foster real spiritual transformation. Such groups tend to comprise the same people year after and year who talk about the same things over and over. They tend to draw people they personally like and subtly judge and neglect those they don’t. By doing so, they neglect the presence of God (1 Corinthians 4:20), who is right in their midst and take His name in vain.

Matthew 18:20 ESV  For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Unhealthy fellowships can proclaim to do in-depth Bible studies but yet not live it out. The apostle Paul described such people as “always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:6-7). At the other end of the spectrum are groups that focus on lots of activity but neglect studying the Word, fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit and seeking life change.

1 Corinthians 4:20 ESV For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.

2 Timothy 3:6-7 NIV  … loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth.

In healthy Christian communities, people no longer hide behind religious masks or spiritual comfort zones. They will be excited about God, open to sharing their struggles and testimonies and lead initiatives that are inspired by the Holy Spirit.

James 1:22 ESV  But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

How can we facilitate spiritual transformation?

It is the Holy Spirit that changes us into God’s image over time (2 Corinthians 3:18), but we can help facilitate spiritual transformation in a few ways:

• Worship in truth: Study the Word together, share testimonies, ask questions that help people search their hearts, practice life change together, keep each other accountable
• Worship in Spirit: Practice spiritual disciplines together e.g. daily prayer, fasting, Bible study, scripture memory, serving others

2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT  So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord–who is the Spirit–makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.

John 4:23 ESV  But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.

Jesus proclaimed that His followers will accomplish greater works than He did when we desire to glorify God. Spiritually transformed people will go on to do great things for God, this is His promise. They must, however, remain humble and actively give all glory to God, so that people do not end up following them rather than God.

John 14:12-13 ESV  “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

5. Give everyone a sense of purpose and belonging

We all join fellowship groups for different reasons and with different expectations, but people will stay on when they are able to say the following:

• “I feel accepted and can trust these people.”
• “I agree with the values upheld in this group.”
• “I connect with at least 3 people in the group.”

1 Corinthians 12:25-26 ESV  that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Fellowship groups must be mindful not to promote self-entertainment and self-gratification. In God’s kingdom, there are no consumers or shoppers. Each one of us has been created with a purpose and for specific good works. Fellowship groups are great places to discover and apply our unique spiritual gifts. A group that learns and serves together grows together.

Ephesians 2:10 ESV  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

1 Peter 4:10 ESV  As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:

How do we give everyone a sense of purpose and belonging?

Healthy fellowships foster a shared sense of purpose and belonging when the leaders facilitate more than “dictate”. They are also good at ensuring the following:

6. Growth and multiplication

Good fellowship groups manage to strike the right balance in terms of size, and are ready to multiply when they start to become too big.

Jesus chose to lead a team of 12 disciples. Research has also shown that twelve is the maximum size for discipleship groups. Other types of groups may thrive in smaller or larger numbers. Whatever the ideal size for a group is, healthy groups grow and it is imperative that its leaders start to groom the next generation of leaders early. Jesus spent three years preparing the disciples but we don’t need to wait that long if the purpose of the group is simpler. One year is usually sufficient.

How do we grow and multiply?

There is always the danger of any group becoming moulded into the image of its leaders, rather what God planned for each individual. Fellowship leaders must be willing to relinquish their roles and intentionally groom one or more next-generation leaders each, just like the apostle Paul commissioned Timothy, his “true child in the faith” (1 Timothy 1:1) to step into a major church stewardship role.

Psalm 145:4 ESV  One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.

It is usually the existing leaders who hold the responsibility to prepare and plan for future growth:

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