10 thought patterns that breed anxiety
Fear, anxiety, and striving are signs that we may be drifting too far away from God. When we follow the Holy Spirit closely, we will experience great joy and peace. We can rest in the knowledge that the One who knows all our tomorrows will lead us safely and assuredly, according to His good and perfect will. On the other hand, when we follow ungodly thinking patterns, we find ourselves missing out on God’s perfect peace in our hearts. Here are 10 common thinking patterns that breed anxiety.
(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 滋生焦虑的十种思维模式 | 繁體中文 > 滋生焦慮的十種思維模式)
Galatians 5:22-25 ESV But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
Romans 12:1-2 ESV I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
1. A pattern of wanting to be good
As counter-intuitive as it may sound, the desire to be good breeds anxiety because this is an almost impossible goal. Even Jesus stopped others from calling Him good. He showed us that we are to refrain from seeing ourselves as good, because this will blind us to our sinful ways, and understand that only God is good.
Mark 10:18 ESV And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.
When we desire to be good, we place the emphasis on ourselves to determine what is “good enough”. When we fail to meet those expectations, we feel bad about ourselves. On the other hand, when we do achieve them, we are tempted to be proud and self-congratulatory.
We think, “I need to do the right thing,” “I must show them I am a good person,” “Look at what I have done, I am so good.”
Instead of desiring to be good, we ought to be following God wherever He leads us, even if things do not look good in our own eyes. Jesus demonstrated this by dying in disgrace on the cross, a death which didn’t seem good in the eyes of His disciples, only to be rise again in great glory.
Acts 2:32-33 NLT “God raised Jesus from the dead, and we are all witnesses of this. Now he is exalted to the place of highest honor in heaven, at God’s right hand. And the Father, as he had promised, gave him the Holy Spirit to pour out upon us, just as you see and hear today.
2. A pattern of relying on our minds
Mankind has formed a firm belief that we can solve all our problems on our own.
We think, “I can figure this out, no problem,” or “I can think of all the possible options and simply pick the best.”
Yet it won’t take long for us to discover that we have very little control over our outcomes and circumstances, no matter how well we prepare ourselves. The tussle to choose between our wisdom and God’s wisdom creates an undercurrent of anxiety in our hearts. It is when we walk in God’s perfect unfathomable will that we experience true peace and assurance.
1 Corinthians 1:25-29 ESV For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
3. A pattern of following our own life rules
We are much more prone to self-reliance than we realise.
From the time we were infants, we picked up many life philosophies, beliefs, and man-made “commandments” that are so deeply ingrained that they instinctively run our lives. We don’t even stop to think twice about why we do the way we do – or if our ways even please God.
We think, “This is the way life has always been,” “Things should be like this,” or “This is the way I like it.” It is our personal life rules, not God’s commandments, that run our lives.
Proverbs 21:2 ESV Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.
When we follow the value systems of this world, we will invariably find ourselves struggling to grow closer to God or to hear Him speak to us. To us, God feels foreign and distant. We may even begin to doubt our salvation. Worse still, we may secretly doubt, judge, and condemn God. Without obedience to God’s commandments and sound biblical guidance (discipleship), we remain as anxious, lost sheep.
Deuteronomy 15:9 Take care lest there be an unworthy thought in your heart … and you be guilty of sin.
Matthew 28:18-20 ESV And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
4. A pattern of fearing disapproval
Children can pay a lasting personal price for other people’s sinful ways. Conditional love, comparisons, favouritism, and bullying at home or in school can teach us that we are only worthy of love and acceptance if we perform for others. As a consequence, we may develop a subconscious pattern of seeking the approval and affirmation of other people.
Proverbs 29:25 NLT Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.
We think, “How can I demonstrate I am worthy,” “How can I ensure that I am not misunderstood,” and “What can I do to avoid conflict and rejection?”
Our constant need to check our approval ratings breeds deep anxiety in our souls. Until we ask God to search our hearts and show us where our desire for people’s approval comes from (usually in early childhood) and repent of idolising their approval, we will struggle to rest. Our anxiety to please other people blinds us to God’s presence and acceptance through Jesus Christ.
Galatians 1:10 ESV For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
5. A pattern of chasing worldly goals
We live in a world that tells us that there is always something “new”, “better”, “faster”, and “greater” to chase after.
We think, “I will experience peace when (condition) happens,” “I will be happier if I buy (object),” or “I will finally be satisfied if I achieve (goal),” creating a vicious loop of striving. We look at external things to fill in an internal void in our hearts.
When we strive for things that are outside of God’s plans for us, our souls will never truly feel deep spiritual satisfaction. God has wired us in very specific ways for very specific reasons. Until we follow His blueprint for our souls, we will struggle to feel truly peaceful, joyful, or fulfilled.
Ephesians 2:10 ESV For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Galatians 4:8-9 ESV Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods. But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?
6. A pattern of unhealthy comparisons
Comparison tends to breed anxiety and envy. The truth is, there will always be someone out of the 7.7 billion in this world that we can compare ourselves with and find that we fall short.
We think, “How can I become more like this person,” and “Why don’t I have the same things or qualities?” Instead of asking God to transform us into Jesus’ image, we unwittingly strive to become more like other people, anxious that we don’t measure up to some man-made standard.
The Bible tells us that we are ignorant when we compare ourselves with one another.
2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!
As followers of Jesus, we are called to follow Him alone. When Jesus was on earth, He chose not to be significant in his appearance (Isaiah 53:2), his vocation i.e. a carpenter (Mark 6:3), or his social reputation i.e. a Nazarene (John 1:45-46). Jesus’ significance was in His great love and mercy for others.
Matthew 16:24 ESV Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
7. A pattern of perfectionism
Perfectionists live with a deeply imprinted inner script which says that anything that is less than excellent is not good enough.
We think, “I have to excel at everything I do,” “It’s not good to ask for help (… this may mean I am not perfect),” and “I prefer to work on my own so that I can control the outcome satisfactorily.”
Perfectionists cope with some inner sadness or internalised shame by focusing on making their outer worlds beautiful and good. This creates a lot of unnecessary anxiety because no imperfect human being can make things perfect. Only our perfect Saviour, Jesus Christ, can.
Matthew 6:27 ESV And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
8. A pattern of seeing death as an escape
Jesus came to give us abundant life. When we fall for the lie of death is a worthy escape, instead of Jesus as our Source of our salvation, we invariably give the spirit of death “permission” to enter our lives and steal what God has prepared for us.
John 10:10 ESV The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
We think, “Things would be easier if I just disappear,” “Why did God create me, I rather not be alive,” and “I hate my life (myself).”
1 John 3:15 ESV Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
This gives Satan a stronghold to come accuse and torment us daily, until we repent in Jesus’ name and choose to receive His resurrected life in our bodies.
Deuteronomy 30:15 ESV “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.
9. A pattern of worrying about our doubts
Faith is not the absence of doubt and questions. Even John the Baptist sent two messengers to ask Jesus if He was truly the Messiah. God does not need our mindless faith nor does He reject us for our doubts. It is good to confront and grapple with our doubts, so that our faith is tested and we learn how to endure and persevere. God’s Word says this is how we become “perfect and complete, needing nothing.”
James 1:3-5 NLT For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
We think, “God must be angry that I have questions or doubts about His ways,” “How can God accept someone who doesn’t really know Him,” and “Have I prove I have enough faith?”
Let us not become anxious about our faith just because we have some doubts. It should instead spur us on to seek God for His wisdom and answers. He will welcome and guide us.
Matthew 11:2-3 Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of the Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?”
10. A pattern of uncontrolled imaginations
We can have a habit of imagining the worst as we think about what lies ahead. This can also breed anxiety.
We think, “What other options do I have,” “What if this fails and I get hurt,” and “What if they reject me?”
Planning is good, while over-planning can destroy our peace. The Bible reminds us that God is able to do far more than we can imagine or think. The better option is to rest in the knowledge that God is far wiser, far more powerful, and far more farsighted than we could ever hope to be. His plan will always turn out to be the best.
Proverbs 19:21 ESV Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
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