Jesus frees lawyer from sexual bondage
C had fallen into a deadly trap of tying his self-worth to meeting other people’s demands. This led him to become hyper-anxious, addicted to pornography, and even suicidal. Jesus set C free from bondage by showing him how much His Heavenly Father values him and faithfully answers his prayers when he asks according to God’s will. Praise God!
(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 耶稣破除一位律师的色情枷锁 | 繁體中文 > 耶穌破除一位律師的色情枷鎖)
My parents taught me to be polite, kind, and considerate.
Being seen as a virtuous person was vitally important. My father saw this to mean that our family has to accommodate others’ request
My father enjoyed showing others how well he ran his family. At dinner gatherings with friends, he was adamant that we serve others at the dinner table before ourselves. If we refused, this was met with a harsh scowl or even a public outburst of anger.
I was indoctrinated with the notion that if I did not strive to show that I was an upright person, I would experience hardship.
It was a matter of survival and depended on the favour of people.
On reflection, all this put an immense amount of pressure on me to be seen to be the most well-mannered and deferential person, no matter the circumstances or the ask. It made me feel ashamed, inadequate, and unworthy if I felt I had disappointed others’ expectations – even if their requirements were unreasonable. This carried on into my work life where I have felt great insecurity, anxiety, and even fear.
I used pornography to soothe my anxiety, beginning with anime porn as a little boy.
Besides the physical release of stress, pornography helped me feel accepted, able to exert influence over others
My health deteriorated, leading to two surgeries in five years for a stress-related health condition.
I even considered suicide when I worked under a manipulative and toxic partner at a law firm.
I felt chained to these patterns from my flesh and from Satan, the spirit of the world. It felt very much like an addiction to these habits and mindsets. I knew it was destructive but felt impossible to break free. I started to believe that there was no way out.
1 Corinthians 2:12 ESV Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God.
Even though I recognized the enemy was carrying out his scheme to kill, steal and destroy, I could not bring myself to believe that Jesus wanted me to have life and to have it to its fullest.
These deep bondages led to unbelief in Jesus’ resurrection even though I have sought Father God for nearly 16 years and have been baptised for 14 years.
I doubted the victorious and miraculous work of the Holy Spirit.
I pleaded with Father God to show me how real the resurrection power of Jesus can be even in my daily routine. I knew I can only rely on the strength of Father God to deliver me from the stronghold of pornography, the worship of people’s affirmation, and the fear of man.
I felt Father God tell me that His Kingdom’s work would not be held back despite my pride, stubbornness, selfishness, self-worship, and ultimately, brokenness. I waited for Father God to deliver on His promise.
Six months ago, I attended the Love the Lord discipleship course where I learnt many truths.
One crucial lesson has been that Father God is close and cares. He is gentle, kind, and full of grace. Father God sees what makes me joyful. He sees my struggles and weaknesses. Yet He does not want to condemn me but yearns to give me water that will quench my thirst forever, a spring of water in me that wells up to eternal life. This led me to sign up for a renewal prayer.
Before the prayer session, I asked Father God to help build up my faith. He showed me that He is trustworthy and answers my prayers when I ask according to His will.
It had been a few months since a sister-in-Christ went to the mission field. I was prompted to give a proportion of some extra funds I had to her mission. When I got in touch with her about the gift, she told me there was “coincidentally” an unexpected shortfall in her funds for that month. Later on, we realized that the sum that I was prompted to donate matched the exact amoun
I was amazed that God used me to meet this sister’s need towards his Kingdom work.
I arrived excited to rededicate and submit my life to Father God on the day of my renewal prayer session. At the same time, I felt an odd and unexplained prompting that I was also there to help and encourage my prayer counsellors.
During the renewal prayer, I confessed and repented of many sins, unbelief, and anxieties to Father God, who reassured me that He would hold my hand and lead me out from the darkness into His Light.
Near the end of the renewal prayer session, I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me in using the gift of prophecy.
I received some visions for the people in the room. I was unsure what they meant and did not know if they were even relevant or perhaps things I made up. The next day following the renewal prayer, I felt heavy and grieved. I did not understand why I felt this way. I understood that people typically felt lightness and joy after their renewal prayers. I was puzzled with what I was feeling and asked the Holy Spirit to show me why I felt this heaviness.
In the following week, I met up with one of my prayer counsellors for coffee. I learned that he was in a severe testing season. The prophecy I had for him was relevant and of great encouragement. On hindsight, the sadness I felt following the renewal prayer was from his troubled heart.
More recently, Father God has shown me again that the Holy Spirit’s work is active and real. I was privileged to support someone else’s renewal prayer where Jesus spoke through one of the prayer counsellors directly to the counselee while the song, Worthy, was playing. It was a song I was prompted to share with the counselee just several days prior.
Again, Father God answered my prayer to be convicted of the power of the resurrection of Jesus. Father God has continued the work He started in me despite the anxieties and fears that still creep in and invade my mind.
As I become more aware and active in repentance, trust, and submission to Father God every moment, the Holy Spirit is persistently and steadfastly renewing my mind and giving me a peace that surpasses all understanding, no matter how high the waves can be in this journey.
Father God has shown me there is a life and identity outside of striving for approval and avoiding rejection.
I don’t need to feel ashamed, even if I do not meet other people’s expectations. Father has already sacrificed His Son on my behalf. I have done nothing to deserve this, but Father God wants me know that I am valued beyond imagination. What men say about me does not matter. I know I am loved dearly.
Father God saved me from my sexual bondage.
Whenever I used to feel rejected or unwanted by my girlfriend, ashamed and exposed or like I have fallen short of expectations at my workplace, and whenever the enemy told me I am inadequate, I turned to pornography to feel a sense of worth and acceptance. Father God has gently reassured me that I do not need to lean on these things for a sense of stability, acceptance, and control.
I am my Father’s child. I can rest in Father and find comfort in Him. Father is control. He loves me as a His child. Father God is also Creator, Lord and Savior. He is Lord of my yesterday, today and tomorrow, this age, and the age to come. I need only to submit to Father God’s will and to earnestly seek His Kingdom first.
I have become more victorious in God’s grace, mercy, and sacrifice.
Most importantly, I feel convicted that we as disciples of Jesus are comforted in order to comfort others, to share the Holy Spirit’s work and power to restore hardened and paralysed hearts and to be faithful servants in bringing His Kingdom to earth, as it is in heaven.
Jesus has overcome and I know He will use me, despite my weaknesses, because He is strong.
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