Survey findings: Why Christians use porn and how to break free

In April 2020, Teaching Humble Hearts embarked on an online survey asking 82 Christian men and women in Asia about their porn-viewing habits as well as the steps they took towards freedom from addiction to pornography. We found that the feeling of loneliness drives people to use porn, and that men appear to be driven to use porn by their negative emotions more than women. Overall, men tend to use porn to relieve stress, while most women tend to use it to engage in fantasy.

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 调查发现:基督徒为什么观看色情作品?如何挣脱? | 繁體中文 > 調查發現:基督徒為什麼觀看色情作品?如何掙脫?)

 

Watch the survey highlights

God created our sexuality. Our sexual desires are a natural aspect of being a man or a woman. Yet we can find ourselves resorting to pornography for temporary sexual relief, only to find ourselves enslaved to a quick fix that is not truly satisfying. The survey showed that both men and women find pornography addictive and that using porn leaves a large number of Christians feeling ashamed and guilty. About half feel defiled and disgusted afterward.

Moreover, it appears that people can be driven to pornography by their emotions and childhood experiences more than we realise.

Both men and women are most likely to be first exposed to pornography during their early teens (11-15 years old), frequently because their fathers or other adults left pornographic materials at home. 

People are scarred by negative childhood experiences, where they were the victims of verbal abuse and emotional manipulation, and admit that these experiences influence their use of pornography. Many of those surveyed said that they did not receive any education about their emotions or about sex as they were growing up. Incidentally, men are more likely to perceive love through “loving words” while women are more likely to feel loved when people spend “quality time” with them.

The survey findings show that using pornography does not help one feel loved, nor does it bring peace or joy. On the contrary, porn usage is more likely to lead people to isolate themselves from authentic real-life relationships, due to the shame they feel and the unhealthy views of relationships they develop subsequently. 

The impact on one’s relationship with God

The survey also revealed some contradictory thinking amongst Christians about porn. About one third or more think that porn is not harmful, yet many described falling into shame, sexual addiction, and spiritual blocks as a result. A number of people began to experience random sexual images in their thoughts, dreams, and even their prayers. They also started having difficulty in reading the Bible.

From the survey, it appears that not all Christians are aware that yoking oneself to those who prostitute themselves harms one’s own body (1 Corinthians 6:15-20), that addiction is a form of spiritual slavery (Romans 6:16), and that turning to pornography is akin to adultery (Matthew 5:28).

1 Corinthians 6:15-20 ESV  Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Romans 6:16 ESV  Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Matthew 5:28 ESV  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Additionally, unhealthy beliefs about how to cope with one’s problems and a person’s negative self-image can leave people afraid to confess their use of pornography. As a result, we can forfeit God’s unconditional grace and His call to confess to God-fearing believers so as to receive healing through prayer.

James 5:16 ESV  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Isaiah 50:7 ESV  But the Lord God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.

Such ignorance gives Satan opportunities to tempt Christians into gratifying our sexual and emotional desires through the use of pornography, rather than to turn to God for all our needs and find the doorway to freedom. Sadly, we end up sinning against God and against our own bodies instead.

John 10:9-10 ESV  I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Thank God that Jesus understands our weaknesses firsthand because He was also personally tempted in every way we have been, including in His own sexual humanity. We see that Jesus remained unmarried until His crucifixion in His thirties, during a period of time where it was not uncommon for people to be married by their mid-teens. He would have felt alone and possibly have been ridiculed for remaining celibate and not gratifying His sexual desires. Our Savior showed us that it is possible to not fall into sinful ways of meeting our sexual and emotional needs, even when the odds are stacked against us. This is what this survey shows us too. We are certainly not alone in our desires and struggles, and it is possible to break free from pornography. Jesus came to give us a new life so we do not have to live in shame or regret.

Hebrews 4:15 ESV  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

The good news for all believers is that Jesus has promised us His Spirit who will give us the power to overcome all temptations of the flesh when we obey and follow what He teaches us through His Word. Those in the survey who have stopped using pornography said that freedom came after they went to God in repentance and started studying the Bible and growing in their relationship with God’s Spirit. They regularly cry out to God in times of temptation and have a community of fellow believers who love and support them. Indeed, God’s Word calls us to encourage and spur one another on towards becoming more like Jesus. 

Galatians 5:16 ESV  But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

John 8:31-32 ESV  So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Ephesians 4:21-24 NLT  Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

The hope we have in a loving and redemptive Heavenly Father

In the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), Jesus described the redemptive story of a young man who had spent his wealth on prostitutes over many years. He returns to his father in shame, starving, smelling like a pigsty, and expecting to be treated like a servant. But his father would have nothing of it. The father restored his position as an heir, gave him a clean set of clothes, and lavished a feast on him. This is a picture of God’s love and grace towards all of us, no matter how long we have been stuck in addiction to pornography. He sees us from afar and runs up to us to welcome us as His long-lost son or daughter and restore us to purity.

1 John 1:9 ESV  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Luke 15:30-32 ESV  But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ And he said to him, ‘…It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”

Luke 15:20-24 ESV  And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

God does not condemn us for using pornography when we seek Him, He wants to restore us by His love.

Psalm 51:1-4 ESV  Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.

For more detailed survey results, please click on the seven points below to go directly to the relevant data.

1. Demographics of survey respondents
2. First exposure to porn
3. General views
4. When porn is hardest to resist
5. The effects of porn
6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage
7. Overcoming porn addiction

Also, see wo testimonies: 

Jesus reveals wrong views about God to manager

Jesus reveals wrong views about God to manager

Jesus frees lawyer from sexual bondage 

Jesus frees lawyer from sexual bondage 

 

Survey data

1. Demographics of survey respondents

• A total of 82 people participated anonymously in this online survey (39 men, 43 women) in April 2020.
• The majority are based in Asia.
• All are Christians who have used or currently still use porn (70% male current porn users, 44% female current porn users), ranging from young to long-time believers. (Data from non-users were removed.)

Age	Male	Female
20-29	20.50%	14%
30-39	41%	54%
40-49	20.50%	23%
50 and above	18%	9%

Jump to data for:

1. Demographics of survey respondents
2. First exposure to porn
3. General views
4. When porn is hardest to resist
5. The effects of porn
6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage
7. Overcoming porn addiction 

 

2. First exposure to porn

• Most people encounter porn in their early teens (11-15 years old). They may have been awakened sexually before their time.
• Of the four women who are in their 50’s and above in this survey, all first used porn in their twenties, mostly because it was not so easily available during their teens. Men in their 50’s and over showed the same first exposure to porn like the rest, mostly in their teens.

Song of Solomon 8:4 ESV  I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.

I first viewed porn between the ages of	Male	Female
1 and 5	0%	2%
6 and 10	13%	21%
11 and 15	56%	33%
16 and 20	28%	30%
21 and 25	3%	14%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, male =39, female =42

• People are most likely to stumble upon porn for the first time on their own (46% men, 33% women), usually by finding their own father’s porn material at home, surfing online, or viewing images of naked people in educational books.
• This is followed by looking at porn for the first time with friends (33% men, 28% women).
• The women in this survey appear to be first exposed to porn through a wider range of sources, including uncles, grandfathers, boyfriends, and even their teachers, compared to the men.
• One male respondent even first viewed porn embedded into a demonstration for legitimate software.
• One female respondent said she was introduced to porn by her boyfriend as “reference” material.

The first person to introduce me to porn was	Male	Female
Myself	46%	33%
Friend	33%	28%
Father/Parents	13%	16%
Brother	5%	5%
Extended family	3%	9%
Boyfriend	0%	7%
Teacher	0%	2%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, male =39, female =42 * Extended family includes cousin, uncle or grandfather

Jump to data for:

1. Demographics of survey respondents
2. First exposure to porn
3. General views
4. When porn is hardest to resist
5. The effects of porn
6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage
7. Overcoming porn addiction 

 

3. General views

• The majority of men and women find porn addictive (87% men, 70% women).
• The majority of men use porn as a stress reliever (74%), to engage in fantasy (72%), kill boredom (62%), and get a thrill (62%).
• The majority of women use porn to engage in fantasy (74%), as an escape from reality (70%) and to get a thrill (65%).
• All these factors appear more pronounced amongst women who find porn addictive. These women see it as a means to engage in fantasy (90%), as an escape from reality (90%), and get a thrill (83%).
• Men are more likely than women to use porn as a means to:
  • relieve stress (74% men vs. 53% women)
  • kill boredom (62% men vs. 49% women)
  • feel in control (49% men vs. 21% women)
  • feel accepted (33% men vs. 14% women)
• Women are more likely than men to say that porn is:
  • as bad as or worse than adultery (60% women vs. 44% men)
  • is not safer than sex (58% women vs. 38% men)
  • not a form of spiritual slavery (53% women vs. 28% men)
  • not addictive (30% women vs. 13% men)
• The prevalence of the following thinking gives Satan several footholds to tempt people into using porn with lies such as:
  • it is safer than sex (62% men, 42% women)
  • it is better than adultery (56% men, 40% women)
  • it does not harm others (41% men, 47% women)
  • it is a natural instinct (38% men, 47% women)
  • it does not harm me (33% men, 33% women)
  • it is not a form of spiritual slavery (28% men, 53% women)
• Those who say that porn is addictive also say that it is a form of spiritual slavery (88% men, 67% women)
• Such passions of the flesh “wage war” against our souls.

1 Peter 2:11 ESV  Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.

Porn is …	Male (all)	Male (porn is addictive)	Female (all)	Female (porn is addictive)
An escape from reality	69%	68%	70%	90%
A natural instinct	38%	41%	47%	50%
A form of revenge (on loved ones)	23%	24%	5%	7%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, all males =39, all females =42, male (porn is addictive) = 34, female (porn is addictive) = 30 (respondents can select more than one)

Porn helps me …	Male (all)	Male (porn is addictive)	Female (all)	Female (porn is addictive)
Relieve stress	74%	76%	53%	90%
Engage in fantasy	72%	74%	74%	63%
Kill boredom	62%	68%	49%	57%
Get a thrill	62%	68%	65%	83%
Feel in control	49%	47%	21%	27%
Feel accepted	33%	38%	14%	17%

 Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, all males =39, all females =42, male (porn is addictive) = 34, female (porn is addictive) = 30 (respondents can select more than one)

I believe that porn is …	Male (all)	Male (porn is addictive)	Female (all)	Female (porn is addictive)
Safer than sex	62%	62%	42%	47%
Better than adultery	56%	56%	40%	43%
Does not harm others	41%	44%	47%	47%
Does not harm me	33%	32%	33%	33%
Not a form of spiritual slavery	28%	12%	53%	33%
Is not addictive	13%	–	30%	–

 Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, all males =39, all females =42, male (porn is addictive) = 34, female (porn is addictive) = 30 (respondents can select more than one)

Jump to data for:

1. Demographics of survey respondents
2. First exposure to porn
3. General views
4. When porn is hardest to resist
5. The effects of porn
6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage
7. Overcoming porn addiction 

  

4. When it is hardest to resist porn

• The number one factor that drives both men (77%) and women (56%) to porn is the feeling of loneliness.
• Men seem to be driven to porn by their negative emotions; feeling alone (77%), stress (59%), anger and frustration (54%), rejection or betrayal (46%), as well as fear and anxiety (46%).
• Romance stories seem to be a trigger for half of the women (49%).
• A few women mentioned being triggered to watch porn after viewing sexualised imagery.
• It appears that remembering God’s grief over sin can help people resist using porn. 59% of men and 42% of women find it hard to resist porn otherwise.
• Those who are no longer addicted say that repentance to God, reading the Bible, and a community for support have helped tremendously. All three are important.
• Remembering that God is with us, even when we submit our eyes to watching pornography, can help us refrain from using it. God is always with us. 

Deuteronomy 20:4 NIV  For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”

I find it hard to resist using porn when I feel …	Male	Female
Alone	77%	56%
Stressed from work	59%	21%
Angry and frustrated	54%	21%
Rejected or betrayed	46%	21%
Fearful and anxious	46%	19%
Unloved and unaccepted	41%	26%
Misunderstood	31%	9%
Heartache	18%	16%
Bored	3%	7%
I find it hard to resist when I have not …
Thought about God’s grief over sin	59%	42%
Spent time with God	56%	33%
Read the Bible	54%	30%
Been able to sleep	38%	30%
Exercised for a while	21%	7%
Or when I have …
Read/Watched romance stories	21%	49%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, male =39, female =42 (respondents can select more than one)

Comments from some men

• “It gets worse when you have no friends, no social activity, no support, or basically not being loved by humans in general. Porn is a way to grieve over not being loved.”
• “It becomes more difficult to have genuine relationships with people.”
• “I prefer isolation as a result.”
• “I would sometimes prefer to watch it rather than to have real intimacy with my wife.”
• “I still am able to keep active relationships with many people. The way I see that it may affect my real-life relationship is the perspective of objectifying women as mere sexual objects rather than a human being with emotional needs and God’s creation. Porn develops this mentality of instant gratification with low risk because you don’t necessarily need to develop relationships or have a fight or communicate and such.”
• “I tend to look at women as objects rather than God’s daughters. I become socially awkward when talking to women.”
• “Porn seems to be a ‘gateway drug’ to other inappropriate behaviors for some.”
• “I become more demanding, selfish in personal sexual desires.”
• “The more we get used to the pattern, the more we cannot face the reality.”
• “I become emotionally flat, stunted, ashamed.”
• “I feel guilty for the rest of the day. Not just to God but to the brothers and sisters in my life.”
• “Porn makes me angrier and impatient.”

Comments from some women

• “Porn is a fantasy and it is disrespectful to a marriage. It can put a lot of pressure on a marriage to think that “vulgar sex” will bring pleasure. Intimacy between husband and wife is sacred.”
• “Porn is really addictive but when I repented to God about this, the need for watching porn or even the need for (premarital) sex disappeared immediately. So amazing. This is my true story that’s why I can share boldly when girls talk about this topic with me.”
• “It totally affects my social ability, especially with men. It can become self-isolation rather than spending time and effort in healthy relationship building.”
• “Porn is really self-seeking, self-gratifying. It stems from a lustful desire for something that you do not have. I find myself turning to it when I desire intimacy and when I am dissatisfied with real-life relationships and when I’m distant from God (haven’t been reading God’s word and spend time with Him). I believe porn has affected my real-life relationships because it creates a barrier where I feel people do not completely know me for who I am. There is this hidden secret that keeps me from being completely myself with others. It also affects my ministry work as well where there would be a voice that challenges me “How can you be helping people walk in freedom when you are not set free yourself?”
• “I find that the more I use it, the more I’m unable to escape sexual thoughts and it’s much more difficult to control urges. I’m also less sexually satisfied the more I use porn.”
• “Guilt hits like a painful wave after watching porn. Porn does affect real-life relationships because after feeling guilty, I’m less motivated to engage with other people. Porn used to be disgusting to me. I once thought I would never watch porn like my dad. My back then-boyfriend and I searched for porn the first time (aged 16) and did not search for porn until 2 years after mom passed away (aged 20). I observed a pattern of myself watching it when I was self-doubting a lot. Reading the Bible and be consciously aware of the desire really help to resist temptation from watching it.”
  

Jump to data for:

1. Demographics of survey respondents
2. First exposure to porn
3. General views
4. When porn is hardest to resist
5. The effects of porn
6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage
7. Overcoming porn addiction 

 

5. The effects of porn 

• The majority of Christians feel ashamed (82% men, 63% women) or guilty (77% men, 70% women) after using porn.
• While about 50% find porn sexually satisfying (49% men, 47% women), more than half also feel ashamed, guilty, dirty/defiled, and disgusted.
• About half find porn defiling and feel dirty afterward (54% men, 51% women).
• It shows that people use porn to escape from negative emotions, such as loneliness, stress, and anger, only to experience other types of negative emotions afterward.
• There is little to no joy, peace, or fulfillment from using porn.
• One female respondent described it this way, “The moment you watch porn and masturbate, you are temporarily satisfied sexually and relieved emotionally, but it quickly goes to the feeling of guilt, disgust because you feel you have defiled yourself and the temple of God. You then feel depressed, ashamed, and angry at yourself for falling into the temptation.”

After using porn, I feel …	Male	Female
Ashamed	82%	63%
Guilty	77%	70%
Dirty / defiled	54%	51%
Disgusted	51%	47%
Satisfied sexually	49%	47%
Relieved emotionally	28%	28%
Depressed	26%	23%
Tired	21%	21%
Angry	15%	2%
Numb	8%	0%
Fulfilled	8%	2%
Peaceful	5%	2%
Powerful	3%	5%
Joyful	0%	5%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, male =39, female =42 (respondents can select more than one)

• 44% of men and 49% of women confessed that after they started using porn, they also started to become enslaved to their sexual urges, such as masturbation, uncontrollable flashbacks, and sexual dreams. Men seem to fall into sexual bondage a little more than women.
• These numbers could be higher since 23% of men and 23% of women were unsure when their urges started.
• About a quarter of those who confirmed that using porn has affected them afterward, confess that it has even interrupted their Bible reading (24% men, 15% women) and prayers (24% men, 25% women).
• We sin against our own bodies when we yoke ourselves to sexual debauchery and grieve the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 ESV  Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

After I first viewed porn, I noticed I also started to…	Male	Female
Have random flashbacks of porn	76%	50%
Masturbate regularly	71%	71%
Have sexualised dreams	59%	25%
Desire random sexual encounters	47%	10%
Get uncontrollable sexual urges	41%	15%
Imagine people around me naked	29%	20%
Find it hard to read the Bible	24%	15%
See sexualised images when I pray	24%	25%
Make sexualised comments	12%	5%
Did these begin after you first viewed porn?
No	33%	26%
Maybe	23%	23%
Yes	44%	49%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, male (I experienced at least one of these) =17, female (I experienced at least one of these) =21 (respondents can select more than one)

Jump to data for:

1. Demographics of survey respondents
2. First exposure to porn
3. General views
4. When porn is hardest to resist
5. The effects of porn
6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage
7. Overcoming porn addiction 

 

6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage

A. Feeling loved

• The majority in this survey say that porn does not help them feel loved (men 72%, women 77%).
• All the respondents preferred loving words, quality time, and physical affection over gifts (0%).
• Men seem to appreciate loving words more than women (41% men vs. 26% women). As Ephesians 5:33 shows, women are to respect their husbands, this can be expressed through the words that women speak.
• Women prefer quality time with their loved ones (44% women vs. 31% men). As 1 Peter 3:7 shows, men can demonstrate honour to women by making time to be with them.
• Those who said that porn does or may meet their need to feel loved tend to prefer physical affection or loving words. This is likely perceived through fantasy and self-projection of oneself in porn, although it is simply a counterfeit of real love.

Ephesians 5:33  NIV However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Peter 3:7 ESV  Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

I feel loved the most through…	Male	Female
Loving words	41%	26%
Quality time	31%	44%
Physical affection	28%	33%
Gifts	0%	0%
Does porn meet this need?
No	72%	77%
Maybe	21%	21%
Yes	10%	2%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, male =39, female =42

 B. Beliefs

• About one third (33% men, 23% women) confess that their negative self-beliefs drive them to use porn. 41% of men and 30% of women were unsure.
• Both Christian men (46%) and women (65%) prefer to not let others know that they use porn, possibly due to the shame and the guilt it brings them. Women seem to be more prone to hide their use of porn.
• About 40% of men and women believe they need to resolve their problems on their own.
• Men are more likely than women to feel that they must:
  • be in control at all times (38% men vs. 21% women)
  • numb themselves so they don’t get hurt (38% men vs. 23% women)
  • not tell others their problems (33% men vs. 7% women)
  • not tell others their true feelings (33% men vs. 9% women)
• All this hinders confession amongst trusted brothers and sisters in Christ, as we are taught in James 5:16, so that we can receive prayer and healing.
• More women (49%) believe they have unattractive bodies than men (26%).
• Women are also less confident about finding a good life partner or experiencing true love than men.
• All these negative self-beliefs for men and women are likely to reinforce the feeling of being alone, and therefore leave them stuck in their unconfessed addiction to porn.
• A female respondent explained, “I think deep down I find myself struggling with the fear of intimacy in a relationship. I don’t want to get hurt but I still desire the intimacy and so I turn to porn as a temporary way of relief of emotional intimacy I long for that I cannot find or afraid to find in reality.”

James 5:16 NIV  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

In general, I believe…	Male	Female
must not tell others I use porn	46%	65%
must solve problems on my own	44%	44%
must be in control at all times	38%	21%
must numb myself so I don’t get hurt	38%	23%
must not tell others my problems	33%	7%
must not tell others my true feelings	33%	9%
have an un-attractive physical body	26%	49%
won’t have a good sex life	23%	23%
won’t experience true love	18%	28%
won’t have a good life partner	13%	33%
don’t need a life partner	8%	5%
don’t need to be loved	3%	5%
Do such beliefs nudge you to use porn?
No	26%	47%
Maybe	41%	30%
Yes	33%	23%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, male =39, female =42 (respondents can select more than one)

C. Childhood experiences

• The majority of those surveyed said that growing up, they were not taught about their emotions (64% men, 81% women) or about sex (64% men, 74% women). This was more pronounced in women.
• Just one out of eight (13% men, 12% women) said they enjoyed loving, safe, and nurturing childhoods.
• Of those who suffered abuse when young, verbal abuse (56% men, 67% women) and emotional manipulation (49% men, 33% women) were most common.
• This type of abuse makes children feel especially unloved because they crave for loving words and quality time from their guardians.
• Men (46%) were more likely to feel like they lacked protection against bullies and danger than women (26%).
• Women (26%) were more likely to suffer from sexual abuse than men (8%).
• The type of abuse or the lack of abuse did not have an impact on one’s addiction to porn. Even those who did not experience abuse when young found porn addictive.
• Overall, it appears childhood experiences (49% men, 40% women) have a greater impact on the use of porn than current beliefs (33% men, 23% women).

My upbringing lacked…	Male	Female
Explanation about emotions	64%	81%
Explanation about sex	64%	74%
Affection (hugs, praises)	59%	67%
Protection (from bullies, danger)	46%	26%
Acceptance (interests, gender, looks)	44%	53%
Nurturing and guidance	41%	42%
Comfort when frightened or confused	36%	44%
Forgiveness	33%	47%
Security (physical hunger, constant moving, financial instability)	23%	37%
None of the above – I had a loving, safe, and nurturing childhood	13%	12%
Forms of abuse
Verbal abuse (scolding, shouting)	56%	67%
Emotional manipulation and control (accusations, guilt-trips)	49%	33%
None of the above	26%	21%
Physical abuse (beatings)	21%	21%
Sexual abuse (molestation, sexual assault)	8%	26%
Do such experiences impact your use of porn?
No	18%	26%
Maybe	33%	35%
Yes	49%	40%

Source: teachinghumblehearts.com, male =39, female =42 (respondents can select more than one)

Jump to data for:

1. Demographics of survey respondents
2. First exposure to porn
3. General views
4. When porn is hardest to resist
5. The effects of porn
6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage
7. Overcoming porn addiction 

 

7. Overcoming porn addiction

Those who have overcome addiction to porn had this advice for others.

Men

1. “Fear God.”
2. “Know what sin is.”
3. “Extreme disgust at sexual perversions of others (pedophilia) enabled me to see more clearly my own sexual sins.”
4. “Receive forgiveness and reject the lies of the evil one or words from other people that confused my identity in God.”
5. “Knowing who I am in Christ and how much I am loved/grieved for.”
6. “Bring up the urge in prayer and ask God to help.”
7. “Resist such urges by thinking about our Lord.”
8. “Discipleship, remembering God’s call to be His holy people.”
9. “Fellow brothers committed to walking together without porn.”

Women

1. “Pray continually. Don’t stop praying.”
2. “Reach out to God to help resist the temptation. Get closer to God so as to feel His love fully.”
3. “Spend time to read the Bible, pray when tempted, and bind the temptation at Jesus’ feet.”
4. “Do not have it as an option – delete bookmarks, keep the computer off when not needed, turn to prayer instead of letting my mind wander.”
5. “Know that all our sin, including watching porn, has put Jesus on the cross, so we cannot abuse His grace and treat it as ‘cheap grace’.”
6. “Remember the disgust, dissatisfaction, and shame I felt after porn. And refuse to go there again.”
7. “Remind myself how empty and guilty I feel afterward, such that I know it is a useless way to fill the void.”
8. “Don’t even entertain the thought that you can overcome it, don’t give in to curiosity at all. Keep praying even if you can’t concentrate, let God’s words flood out the images or unclean thoughts.”
9. “Ask the Holy Spirit to help. This is the only way. I experienced that God can stop the need immediately. I know it.”
10. “Repent to God in front of trusted believers. Since then, I have never turned back. Do not watch even sexual scene in a movie. I was able to stop playing the movie when I have found out there are such scenes.”

Hebrews 4:16 ESV  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Jump to data for:

1. Demographics of survey respondents
2. First exposure to porn
3. General views
4. When porn is hardest to resist
5. The effects of porn
6. Subconscious drivers behind porn usage
7. Overcoming porn addiction

 

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