Image for Jesus teaches mother how to extend grace

Jesus teaches mother how to extend grace

Heal/ Testimonies
V is married with two children and has been a Christian for 20 years. Here is her testimony of how God helped her to overcome her spiritual pride and learn what it means to be a godly wife and mother. Praise God!

I had a lot of Bible knowledge but I was not listening to God.

In school, I did religious studies, was familiar with all the Bible stories, and thought I was a good Christian. But there was a distance between what I knew about God in my head and my heart.

A big fight with my husband led me to talk to a fellow believer about my marriage. I felt betrayed and angry when I came across close-up photos of a female colleague on his phone. He explained that his colleagues took the photos for fun and that this lady was bullied by everyone in the office. I could not accept his explanation.

I wondered if I should divorce him even though I didn’t want that for our children.   

A friend of mine suggested that I do a renewal prayer before I considered my next step. Filling up the prayer form helped me realise the areas of my faith I needed to work on. It softened my heart for what God was going to do next.

As a kid, I respected both my parents very much, but I have always had mixed feelings about my mom. I think when I was around seven years old when my dad followed his friends to visit prostitutes in China. My mom was left at home by herself to take care of my newborn brother and me. When she found out about dad’s affair, she cried for weeks. At that time, I couldn’t understand why. In her anger and frustration, she would hit me and shout at me.

My mom was always physically around, but she was not there emotionally.

Over the years, she hinted to me on and off and out of the blue, “Your dad is not a very good guy, he cheated on me when you were young” and also, “I was busy then taking care of you and had no time for your dad”.

I was not sure if she was blaming me but I hated my mom for badmouthing my dad.

Why couldn’t she just forgive dad and move on? All this gave me the idea that I should not trust men and affected how I subconsciously saw the world and my marriage. I interpreted it as I could not trust my own husband. 

When I told my mom about the photos on my husband’s phone, she asked me to make my own decisions and said nothing more afterward. I feel like she was ignoring my hurt and pain all over again.

During prayer, I was asked who I was angry with. I realised it was my mom, not my husband. 

The Lord showed me that He chose my mom for me and that He knows all my struggles. He opened my eyes to see that He was with me all my life and to understand my mom’s loneliness and struggles. She was simply venting her pain and anger out on me. Mom had no one to talk to, so she gave her burdens to me.

It was still really hard to forgive my mom during the prayer session. I was only able to slowly forgive her afterward after I spent more time reading the Bible and reflecting on my mom’s life. I began to understand why my mom is the way she is and her insecurities.

There was a hole in my heart and the Holy Spirit gradually filled it with love for my mom and my own family.

Since then, my relationship with my mom has changed dramatically. 

Now, I want to show love to my mom and help her with her wounds. I wanted to ignore her in the past but I now welcome her into my home. The way I speak and respond to her is also different. I think of her every day and want to pray with her and read the Bible together.

My mom worships idols and I see myself as a bridge to connect my mom to God. 

How I relate to my husband and children has also changed. I searched the Bible for what God says about husbands, wives, marriage and raising children. In the past, I used to model my role as a wife and a mother from the outside world. Now, I want to do it God’s way. 

There are fewer fights at home. My husband and I take more time to care about each other. All this comes from God. I have also decided to raise my children according to the Bible, not my mom’s way. I no longer rely on my strength. Whatever I cannot change at home, I leave to God. 

There were broken families in my previous generations. This generational curse will stop with my generation because my love for my family comes from the Lord, not from idols or things of this world. 

With God by my side, my generation will not be cursed anymore.

I always thought I knew the Bible really well, but that was my pride. I thought I did not need to go deep into the Bible. Now I know I don’t actually know very much of God’s ways. I am still reading the Bible regularly and know in my heart that I still have room for improvement.

 

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